Esther's 4th Birthday Letter

Dearest Esther,
  Today you are FOUR. i know, hard to believe, right?  Not just that you've grown up so fast, but that somehow by the grace of the gods you've managed to not just survive to four but THRIVE. This has been a big year for you. You've gone from toddler to little kid in a matter of minutes it would seem. You are becoming such a little person. At least five times a day you say something and i have no idea where you would even learn something like that or have even heard of it. You are brilliant! Your powers of deductive reasoning are overwhelming. Your logic is astoundingly flawless. You are beautiful, and funny, and all together intense. You are demanding and oh-so-swift.  You are amazing and incredible and wonderful and i cannot stop telling you how much i love you. I hug you so hard that you squeak and tell me i'm squishing you.

  You have started your second year of pre-school. From what i can tell you seem to love it, although it was hard at first. I think other kids and particularly crowds make you nervous. You get that from me. But you are learning coping mechanisms and healthy ones at that, nope no cigarettes and whiskey for you! You ask to be held, or ask for someone to read a book with you.  You are good at telling us what you need. You also take care of others. You excel at being a big sister. You teach Asa, you comfort him, you punish him, you share with him.  You want so much for everyone around you to be happy and content.

You are terrified of doctors. you are very interested in bugs. you help me feed the chickens. you clean up your toys. you pick out your own clothes. you sing and dance almost constantly. you tell the best stories i've ever heard in my entire life (note to self: you really need to record and post vid of e telling a story). you are empathetic. sarcastic. emotive. you are sly and crafty but very honest when it comes down to it. you are loving and sweet and kind.
 
You have also taught yourself to read. Several months ago you began sounding out a word and you read it. Since then, just like your talking and walking, it has been a monsoon of reading labels, books, mail, signs, t-shirt slogans, anything you can get your greedy little eyes on.  Every day is a new surprise. one day you're a little bump in my belly and the next thing you know you're reading and writing and making up songs (you get that from daddy). Pretty soon you'll be driving and dating...

 Another interesting thing, you are recently, obsessed with death. You are always asking me if i'm going to die and when and how. And you always tell me that you don't want to die. It breaks my heart. I am running with the idea that this obsession with death is perfectly healthy and natural though. And i try, as best i can, to frame my answers in nonchalance but not lies.

So aside from breaking my heart, being brilliant, and funny, and prolific in your drawing, writing, singing, etc - you are without a doubt, completely, utterly and entirely yourself. through and through. you are independent and individual and i love you with every single bit of my being ever. from the very core of everything i've ever been to everything i ever will be. You are my baby forever. i sure do love you, squirt.

-mama

House boy in training

what can i say, he loves to vacuum.
(and he's outgrown that onesie...)

What an amazing weekend!

The first annual all-girl backpacking trip was amazing. It was hilarious and beautiful and i can't thank everyone enough for making it all happen.

There will be pictures on the BB blog later. I'll let you know when they're posted. I left the picture taking to other folks who are, undoubtedly, more talented with cameras than i am.

Hope your Monday isn't as hard as mine (it's always difficult to come back to real life after a weekend of seeing what fantastic things you could be doing all day every day... )

Such a Boy-o

(photos courtesy of Oma! Thanks Oma!) 

Dance class Daddy

 So, dance class...
In light of my failure to force Esther into participating i shunted off my motherly duties to Ben. He is now taking Esther to dance class.  He is much better at giving her the boot than i am.

And if she does well, and dances and only cries a little bit, daddy takes her out for sweet potato fries and beer...

Ben's 29th Birthday

For Ben's 29th we celebrated low key. not much hubbub. I worked from home so as to eliminate a time sucking commute. Ben and his Dad took Asa computer shopping. Asa got a brand new Mac Book Pro... just kidding. he's not allowed to touch it.

Ben and I dropped the kids off with Mom and Dad and went out on a date. We had NO idea where we were going but hopped on the motorcycle and let the wind blow us. The wind, as it turns out, blew us to A-town. A sleezy dive bar in northern baltimore county... turns out it was happy hour... there were three other individuals in there... we got half price appetizers which i had to decorate in honor of our benny-boy, had a couple of beers, played three rounds of pool (i have completely lost any skill i ever possessed with that game).

and finished off the birthday with watching dvds and passing out cold... ahhhh, to be young...

To carmax or not to carmax...

We've been on the fence about buying a new car. Our RAV has lots of issues and we were thinking it'd be easier to just trade it in rather than fix everything that's wrong with it (the stereo was the clincher, especially since i CAN'T FIND ANYONE TO FIX IT!).  Anyhow... after much deliberation, we've decided that it'd be better to dump a couple grand into this car than to spend ten grand on a new car... at least for now... only time will tell ...

And despite the fact that it's a hideous color, it's a great car. does fabulous in the winter. just the right size, gas mileage isn't bad for an suv... and really... well... it's the devil we know...

Car stereo hell

Anyone know anything about carstereos?? Wanna come over and help me rip apart my dash??

Sent from my iPhone

Why oh why did i get out of bed this morning????!!!

The day is shaping up to be such a mess that i'm fairly certain i'm going to run home, grab the family, and head to mexico. I hear they're accepting applications for drug cartel kingpins. The insurance is crap but the salary is more than generous. Plus a lot of added perks, like an escalade with giant platinum rims...

i will leave it at that. no point going into it... i'll just end up punching the computer and this is the only one left i have that works so... may be time to haul myself, my dead ass computers (and my dead-ass car stereo), and a couple fire arms out to a very empty and isolated field for some target practice and emotional relief.

Also, i want to informally apologize to anyone involved or victim of my over-planning/organizing obsessive compulsive behavior. I know, i'm insane... and if i could afford it i'd get meds... or drugs... or regular beatings...

See you in Mexico.

As seen on facebook...

My amazing knit savvy mom made me these adorable short shorts. I'm trying to figure out how i can get away with wearing them to work and not have to justify my weirdness.

For those of you wanting your own, i'm sure she'll take commissions. AND she'll be selling them at the next fairiefest. so keep your grundyundies on and wait till spring!