I don't post much any more, if at all really. However, in light of last night's "crisis" I'd like to document this somewhere. It occurred to me last night while in the ER that i've come closer to death in the last 4 months than is right. And also, maybe not that close to death... though it sure felt like it.
Ben took a walk in the woods yesterday with the kids while i had a conference call so as to keep them out of my hair. He came back with some mushrooms that he said were shaggy manes. We've eaten shaggy manes before though and these were much different. But i shrugged it off thinking he knew better and read all the books and i just knew what they looked like before and maybe these were younger ones... regardless, i didn't listen to my doubts and we sauteed them and ate them with our dinner (Kale and quinoa salad and salmon burgers). Then we started having doubts... I should be clear here, we had NO symptoms. No vomiting, no abdominal pain... but we started doing research and found some seriously scary reports including reports on a guy who was also looking for shaggy manes and ate a destroying angel mushroom instead (a variety of amanita). So we panicked. I managed to get the kids in bed while researching on my phone. We called Aunt Lynne (an experienced mushroom hunter with tons of identification books) and asked her to help us. I sent Ben back up in the woods to find another to take to Aune Lynne which he tried to do but couldn't find his way back to the same patch. He grabbed a couple others that seemed similar but we're not sure. Meanwhile, as he's tramping about in the woods i panic thinking i'm going to die and make myself throw up a couple times. Then, as i do more research i become absolutely certain we are going to die and our children are about to be orphans and my bowels turned to water. I want to be clear here too because i didn't have any abdominal pain before the serious realization that i was going to die... i'm fairly sure that that moment wasn't mushroom poisoning but more that moment before battle when soilders get the shits because they know THEY ARE GOING TO DIE!! That's when i called my parents. I cried and they came over and I made my mom promise that she would take care of our children and I tried to get my dad to tell me that "dying is ok". I cried a lot. And then Ben called from Lynne's and suggested we try to throw up more, which we did. Then after some attempts at identifying what the mushroom was, we decided to just go to the ER. So we went and had to openly admit that we're the biggest fucking idiots ever and drink a huge cup of pitch black charcoal. UGH!! but we did it. They took our blood twice to check liver function. We were sent home around 3am with a "you're not quite out of the woods yet. We need to give it at least 24 hours before determining you're ok. But it looks good". Needless to say, it was a very sleepless night. and poor Ben blames himself... and i'm just happy to be alive and will not be eating ANY foraged foods for a long while (until the kids are independent at least).
The other close encounter with death happened back in May on the way back from Tennesee where Esther had her Destination Imagination Global Finals Tournament. As we were walking back to the car from a cafe, the woman i was with used her key fob to unlock the car while we were still a little way aways. As i rounded the car to get in on the passenger side, i noticed that a guy was in the car in the passenger seat and the car parked beside us had their door open. But instead of just yelling or calling 911 like a normal person, i ran toward the guy. he saw me, got out and got in the driver seat of the car beside us and started to drive away. I got to him just as his door shut and grabbed the door handle. I managed to get the door open and while running alongside his car as he was pulling away i reached in to pull him out. That's when i REALIZED WHAT THE FUCK I WAS DOING and let go of him and the car... Then I did the normal thing and tried to memorize the tags and the car make/model. We called the police to no avail... but seriously... what the fuck is wrong with me?! All i could think about the rest of the way home was what if that guy had had a gun... what if he had grabbed me back and not let go... all kinds of what ifs...
I'm done with this close to death thing... i'm ready to play it safe... i also need to make sure i get my will in order and some seriously life insurance...
