Ode to my really awesome cousin who is somehow finishing her Ph.D. raising a toddler and twin baby girls and still manages to be a lot of fun

So, while in canada i got to reconnect with my cousin Sarah. We were childhood best buds and looked so much a like that we used to play tricks on people (Esther saw a picture of her a couple months ago and was convinced it was me). But when puberty hit things got rocky because i had an identity crisis, nuff said. we're not going to talk about it. ANYWHO, Sarah had her first baby, a boy - Duncan - two months before I had Esther. And six months after I had Asa she gave birth to TWIN girls. She's also finishing her Ph.D.. Normally, I'd hate a person like her for making me look so bad but she's loads of fun. Anyhow, i just learned that she reads this blog so this is sort of a shout out to her. She sent me an e-mail this morning commiserating with the sleep deprivation and paranormal activity of children and because i'm too lazy to paraphrase, here is what i wrote back.

Hey girlfriend! (i can't pull "girlfriend" off in person so i thought i'd try it in an e-mail. Guess it doesn't work here either. White in person, white on paper...).

Yeah, the sleep deprivation is killer. Some days it's not so bad, i get a little goofy and i give in easier (which is i think why they do it to us in the first place, to get their way). But other days I'm just awful and everything feels like an absolute tragedy. Lately with Asa's cold it's awful. I pretty much have to hold him all night and the last two nights he's screamed from 2am to 4am for no apparent reason. right. last night i remember looking at his scrunched up little howling face and yelling back "THIS IS NOT A PRISON CAMP AND I WILL NOT DIVULGE MY GOVERNMENT'S SECRETS TO YOU NO MATTER HOW LONG YOU TORTURE ME!!!"

Funny that you say that about kids being "birth control," two nights in a row now (and sorry if this is TMI) the kids have woken up at PRECISELY the wrong moment. It's like Asa has implanted a computer chip in my brain to monitor how comfortable, satisfied, or amorous i am feeling. Oh and how badly i have to pee, because if i REALLY have to pee he either wakes up or goes to sleep or has suddenly decided that screaming bloody murder is the way to go...

In fact, i'm writing this with him sound asleep in my arms (my left hand is a bit numb) because i know he'll wake up if i go to set him down because i've been wanting to write you back all day. I've been writing imaginary response to you in my brain all day. I even started an imaginary blog entry called "Ode to my really cool cousin who go hit with a bullet i somehow managed to dodge" - it was going to be about how easy you make momming a toddler and twin baby girls look. I still may do it but i've forgotten everything i wrote in my head.

It was really quite awesome hanging out with you guys in Ontario. I never really had a chance to get to know CJ until then. I really like him. He's quite funny and a good dad. And the commiserating, seriously... i don't know how anyone could do this without a posse. Not that i have much of one. I'd give anything for someone of our age, with kids, who isn't filthy rich or just plain weird. I guess it's just the demographic of where we live. Old, filthy rich, right-wing weirdos... It's really weird going to the parents' club meetings at Esther's preschool. I feel like everyone thinks i'm the nanny.

ok. my left hand is starting to turn a really nasty shade of purple. i have to put this big noggined kid down before i loose use of it all together. Smooch those wide-eyed girls for me and squeeze Duncan - he is a really awesome kid by the way. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that you guys will be able to move up here sometime in the near future.

(i hope you don't mind but i think i may save myself time and just post this whole e-mail to the blog... if you do mind, let me know and i'll take it off).

-L

The Big Sleep Challenge: Update 1

So. This is NOT the week to start the big sleep challenge it would seem. I got the "No-Cry Sleep Solution" book out of the library. I downloaded sleep logs and tips off Elizabeth Pantley's website. I went Ben with the book and logs in hand made an argument for her strategies. Convinced him and we were both prepared to start logging Asa's and Esther's sleep patterns and wake patterns... but Asa is sick. He coughs himself awake. He hacks until he pukes (all over my spot on the bed...). He whimpers and moans and finally sleeps but snores like a chainsaw cutting a backhoe in half.

So... we're waiting.

The good news (or possibly REALLY, REALLY BAD NEWS - depending on how well this works). The Pacifier Fairy visited our house last night. She left some cool presents and took Esther's pacifier and is giving it to a baby (Esther is convinced that her pacifier is going to baby Hannah, so Terri, if you could please play along that'd be really awesome!)

So, we'll see how tonight goes. Also, we've decided to do away with Esther's naps. She seems ready in that she's perfectly normal if she doesn't have a nap (most days) and she fights nap time as though if she falls asleep we'll steal her soul... I'm not sure i'm ready though... i really like nap-time at our house...


More on the "No Cry Sleep Solution"
i've been reading this book, admittedly, with some skepticism. there are a million and one parenting books out there all with their own pompous opinion that whatever you're doing is WRONG... which i guess it must be since what you're doing now isn't working so you're reading a book to get answers... But you know what i'm realizing, the books that are all "i don't know what will work for you, this worked for me, but kids are freakin' crazy and who the heck knows what will end up doing the trick." I am tempted to read parenting books solely for the solidarity in the shit-storm that is parenting.

so for any of you parents out there whose kids sleep from 7pm until 9am -- either because you have birthed a superior race of humans, or because your kids cried themselves to sleep docilely (instead of trying to climb out and fall on their abnormally large heads or trying to break their own leg between the bars of the crib) -- check this out:
"Up to 70% of children under age five have sleep problems. Sleep issues are complicated and have many causes."

(thank you Pantley)

Next Update will include the sleep log, the pre-bedtime routine log, and the goal that we are working toward (which will determine when I have actually won my BIG SLEEP CHALLENGE)

The Big Poisoned Apple

My brother has lived in New York (and more specifically, Brooklyn) for the last 8 years. Last week our parents took the train up to the big dreaded city to help my brother and his fiance (Hi Miah and Ceci!!!) pack up and move down here.

My father is a country-boy through and through. He was born in the country, raised in the country... he very rarely goes further than 15 miles south of where we live. He considers, for those of you who live around here, Cockeysville to be "The City." So as you can imagine this was quite the trip for him.

So here is my darling papa braving the wilds of the urban jungle...


On another note: MIAH AND CECI ARE HOME!!!!! I am so excited to have them close by. I have big plans for all of us. Including: play-dates with the kids and the bunnies, Ceci teaching me circus tricks, Miah teaching Asa to charm waitresses into giving him free food, picnics, walks in the woods, delectable feasts cooked by my culinarily-gifted brother.

sleep deprivation and H1N1

I work with people who are professional crisis interventionists... and with that in mind the whole h1n1 thing is gearing up here. Water-cooler talk centers around when who is getting their flu vaccinations...

Now, i'm not crazy about vaccinations but i do believe in them... BUT i believe even MORE in healthy living as the number one prevention of sickness. I ALSO believe that it's essential for the body to get sick on a regular basis both to strengthen the immune system and to clean out toxins. I don't understand why children today MUST get the chickenpox vaccine when getting chickenpox was like a right of passage when i was in grade school...

Truth be told, i hate being sick. And even more than that i HATE my children getting sick. I am prone to panic when they start in with the wheezing, coughing, snotting... AND since we are just now recovering from colds it's hard to even imagine a worse time such as, we all having the flu... So i've been reading articles on h1n1 and preventative measures and surprise, surprise, sleep deprivation makes you more prone to illness... HOWEVER, aren't there proven studies that show longer life span for those who have children... ironic.

So, with the intent of getting us all some sleep, and because Terri has managed to get Hannah napping so well (damn-it Terri, you're so hard to live up to). I have decided that my new mission is to get my kids to SLEEP LIKE NORMAL PEOPLE!!!!

Now let me remind you what a difficult feat this actually is.
Esther has never been a good sleeper. During almost the entire first year of her life she screamed, and screamed, and screamed, and screamed, and screamed. Just ask Becky. After several months of sleep deprivation and being mistaken for a homeless person because i looked so haggard i attempted the "cry it out" method. This resulted in EVEN MORE SCREAMING FOR DAYS AND DAYS AND DAYS - because even after we stopped trying it she had somehow come to the conclusion that we were trying to kill her. It ALSO resulted in her learning how to climb out of the playpen we were using as crib (what can i say, i gave birth to monkey children). So Ben and I did what we had to get Esther to sleep which ended up being co-sleeping. This lasted until i was so pregnant with Asa that we didn't all fit in the bed and we worked very hard on getting her to sleep in her own bed.

THEN when the addition was ready we moved our bed downstairs and left Esther upstairs to sleep by herself in her own bed. The first two nights she slept the whole night. FIRST TIME IN HER ENTIRE LIFE SHE HAD DONE THIS!! i woke up several times in a cold sweat certain that she had died from abandonment. But after the second night it stopped. And now she wakes up on average twice a night and cries and bawls and insists that daddy sleep on the couch in her room all night long.

Now, Asa is a bit better. But let me remind you that the first night of his life he nursed for 4 hours straight. He's improved but still nurses a lot.

SO our current schedule looks sort of like this:

8pm - Asa nurses to sleep and is laid down in our bed. Esther goes up to her room to put on pajamas and clean up the toys.
8:30pm - Ben reads Esther 3 books, sings her a song, and stays in her room while she falls asleep (which can be anywhere from 8:45pm to 10pm)
10:30/11pm - Asa wakes up to nurse for approx 15 minutes. He's mostly asleep for this and drops back off to sleep. I lay him down in our bed.
2am - Esther usually wakes up around this time and just cries/screams. It is practically impossible to get her to use words at all. She seems awake though, not like night terror or anything. Ben goes up to quiet her and get her to go back to sleep. Asa is usually awakened by Esther's crying (have i told you how small my house is?) so i quiet him by patting him on the butt or in some cases picking him up and jiggling him.
3am- Asa wakes up to nurse
4am- Esther wakes up again. If Ben managed to make it back to our bed after the last time he goes up. Usually he's still up there though.
5am - Asa wakes up because his diaper is really full. I change him and nurse him again. He will drift off to sleep a little bit but only while i'm moving. So i bounce, jiggle, nurse, and walk him around for an hour desperately hoping he will stay asleep long enough for me to catch at least a little more shut-eye.
5:30am - Esther also wakes up and cries if Ben isn't up there. OR if he is, she crawls onto the sofa with him to sleep.
Our states of half-sleep last until 6:30 or if we're lucky 7. and everyone is up for the day.

SO... here it goes. I'm going to call this "The Big Sleep Challenge" that way i feel like i'm in a reality tv show... or maybe the x-games...

wish me luck. and if you have advice, try not to sound too haughty about it.

Finally getting around to posting...

So, we've officially been home for over a week now. It's been a very rough week too. Esther came home from Canada with a cold and generously shared it with her brother, then dad, then my parents, and finally me. It's been a veritable snot factory around here.
Here are some pictures from the trip, though admittedly they don't do our trip justice AT ALL. These were stolen from Sandra's (see picture below) facebook album. Thank you Sandra!! (haha, be you didn't expect to see them here...)
The trip was good. Got to see lots of cousins on both my mom's side and my dad's side. And Esther got to meet some of her second cousins and first cousins once-removed.
The picture above is Duncan (aka "MY friend") of whom Esther is the boss.

and last but not least, the happy couple, my cousin Em and her new husband Mike.

no place like home

we're home. we all have colds....

Come-brrrr-mere

so we're in Combermere. Em and Michael's wedding was yesterday. It was a lovely affair full of good food and lots of music (and a bit of booze as well).

I guess we're leaving tomorrow for southern parts and maybe even get to the border. We shall see how it goes. The kids are doing pretty well all things considered... but i'm a bit concerned with their recent propensity for adding "eh?" to the end of every sentence.

Pictures to come!

Oh Canada!!!

We made it!!

Despite my father's status as "wanton criminal and liar" the border guards granted us entry into this beautiful country. We are currently camped out here and enjoying the heck out of the lovely scenery, the amiable company, and the joy of not being trapped in a moving vehicle with two rambunctious, fidgety, whiny, and shrieking children.
Joy of Joys!!! - we may just stay here...

All our love and will keep you posted.

Fun Stuff

1. Asa now has three teeth (two bottom, one top)
2. My mother is now the proud owner of one of these.
3. My parents, Ben, myself, and the kids are all road tripping in the RV to Combermere, Ontario by way of Niagara Falls - which i have never been to and am SOOOO excited about. There's something so attractive to me about a vintage honeymoon spot famous in the fifties.
4. Jes and Ceci are both doing well and are out of the hospital
5. We are officially on the look out for a Honda Revel 250cc (any year) for cheap because i can no longer live life without fulfilling my need to ride a motorcycle to work. IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CALL ME IMMEDIATELY!
6. Esther has started preschool. It's Tuesday and Thursday mornings which are my days off so it works out. I'd have posted pictures of her first day of school, but i'm a terrible mom and preschool seems a bit premature there's no backpack or school bus... She seems to like it. She did well her first day but her second day she cried after i left. Here's hoping she manages better tomorrow.



And I just want to say: It continues to astound me how many readers i actually have. I always assume that it's like 3 people who read this blog regularly and am continually surprised when i find out there are more of you. I'm sure this is just my own brand of narcissim but I love that there are people who enjoy keeping up with us and our little family...So i just want to say, Thanks for Reading!! (now go update your blog so i can stalk you!)

(singing) Getting better all the time...

So the last couple weeks have been dosies. Lots of drama, panic, deadlines, headaches, and very little reward. But things are starting to look much better (i guess that could be the sleep deprivation talking).

We leave for Canada on Sunday for ten days. I'm pretty excited about that. i'm so bad at being stationary.

Anyhow here are some videos to keep you entertained.

1am

1am, still awake with the boy...
j out of surgery, doing well. i doin' ok... a bit manic...
esther's first day of school - went well but complete loon afterwards and officially boycotting naps...
ben, trying valiantly to keep us all alive if not sane...
me, sleep deprived and a bit depressed...

swimming up stream...

i'm feeling extremely f'ing alone in all my endeavors and in some cases i'm actually the enemy...

face kicking

The world keeps trying to kick me in the face and because i somehow manage to move out of the way at the last second it's taking it's wrath out on my friends and family.

"GO SHAKE SOMEONE ELSE DOWN FOR LUNCH MONEY YOU PROFESSIONAL CRAP TASTER!!!!"

*sigh* (but for different reasons...)

Boordy but not boredy

Last week our friends/cousins Rachel and Richard were in our neck of the woods. Well, really it was a wedding in New York and while that's not exactly our "neck of the woods" it's at least in the same country as us. So they popped down for a visit.

We managed to ditch one kid and have an adult date to Boordy Vineyards where they have a farmers market and wine and music (if you could call it that). And all-in-all is a darned good excuse to get drunk in public.

So here's a few pics from that outing (thanks Rachie, i stole them from your facebook):






and no, i don't know why some of them are so small on here...

can't remember if i've posted this already or not...

*sigh*

"The ocean is growling at me, Mom"

puzzle of the day

Ever see these little girls with the braids and multiple ponytails? How in the world do their mothers get them to sit still long enough to do that??? I can't get Esther to sit still long enough for me to even brush it...

again no pictures... i know, what kind of a mom am i?

to answer the above question, a tired, lazy, over-worked, over-stressed, under-vitamined one. I stopped taking my vitamins for a couple days (mostly cause i just forgot but then decided it would be an interesting experiment). Boy, oh boy! was that ever a bad idea.
I take:
the HUGE prenatal vitamin
calcium
magnesium
b-complex
additional b-12
st. john's wort

So i went off the vitamins and by the end of day two i was in a slump... so i started again by day four because i really started spiraling down hill fast. It's like someone turns your life into a really big pillow and then starts to smother you with it. It's funny how far a little vitamin deficiency can really take you. So i'm digging my way out now and hope to be back on top by wednesday.

In other news, Asa is a crawling dare devil who has recently figured out how to open the screen door. I put him on the floor of my room and watch him crawl through the main room straight to the front door and then stand back and wait to see what he's going to do. Usually the boy just grabs one of my flip flops and tries to eat it (what is it with my children and their shoe eating??!!)
But this time he crawled right up to the door pushed it open with one hand and then headbutted his way through. I grabbed him before he made it out but WHEW!! am i ever in for it!

Esther was the kind of baby that would panic if i wasn't where she could see me. I could let her walk down to the house from the car by herself as long as she could see me on the porch. She never went directly for the pond or the pile of rusty sharp bits. I have a feeling Asa is going to give me a run for my money.

And to end the post. I have ugly hair. I'm taking a poll. Cut it again very short, or grow it out a bit? If i could get away with it at work i'd go for a mohawk. stupid work.

My Missed Calling

Now this is what someone should be paying me to think up!

up and down...

This is not a picture post, sorry... It's a whining post. There, you have fair warning, you can stop reading at any time.

I don't know what is wrong with me. I've been up one side and down the other emotionally... just all over the flippin' map. Ben deserves sainthood for putting up with me. I don't know if it's the season, something in the air, some weird planet is in some house, if my diet is off-balance (not enough fat and carbs is what it is!! - not that i'm laying off those two things by any means, but when dealing with serotonin levels nothing like mashed potatoes and donuts to make the world look just a little brighter... at least until you step on a scale or look in the mirror). It might be the lack of sleep finally getting to me... who the flip knows... But my self esteem is down, my temper is up. The dish and laundry are conspiring against me and my children are constantly building booby-traps in the doorway between my room and the kitchen. I'm pretty sure everyone is in cahoots - there's some betting pool to see how quickly they can reduce me to tears, or yelling, or just fondly gazing at the bottle of wine on the piano and making wishes...

All the projects that i have half started are staring at me and making me feel really guilty. The half-folded laundry keeps threatening to dirty itself, the bags from the beach that i still haven't unpacked from last weekend are singing the battle hymn of the republic, and the small square surface areas of the house that are momentarily clutter-free are mocking me.

I wonder if this counts as paranoid delusions...

You think i'll feel better after i take a nap or like i missed yet another opportunity to go around my house kicking-butt and taking names?

my boys

sweat drenched undies

Okay so i'm a slacker, what else is new.
I really have been meaning to put up a new post... but unfortunately you'll have to wait a little bit longer. Luckily though, i don't think this will be a problem for most of you since everyone seems to be SUPER busy these days, what with summer being all hot and bothersome and whatnot.

so, keep your sweat drenched undies on and i'll get something up hopefully soon.

Who are You-a Hoola' hoop man?

At least i'm embarrassing other people along with me... sorry guys...













all these videos were taken during my birthday celebration...

A VERY belated congratulations

to Mr. and Mrs. Alan Nance.

My best friend since high school, Speckly Beckly got married last month (yes i know, very belated). It was a very fun casual affair that suited them and their romance nicely. Aside from being my oldest friend, Beck saved Esther's life a few times during the first couple months after she was born. Studies show that babies with colic have a higher risk of being tossed out the window...

Here's the happy couple.

Here's Beck with Esther and Asa. Wedding photographers are like wolves just waiting for the bride to talk to my children then *snap* *snap* and it's instant memory-made-in-halmark-commercial. I have more pictures of Esther with some bride or another...

Here's Esther and her bethrothed. I wish. Deanna do you think we could set something up?

actually, Esther left the reception with a bit of a black eye. She and Quentan were playing on the swing and Esther got bopped with the swing... i was proud of her though. she walked up to Q afterwards and said "You hit me in the face. But that's ok". She even put a hand on his arm all adult-like. She still wants to marry him...

And this is me trying very hard to be nice to this extremely condescending man who said "Esther, huh? There's an Esther in the bible." um... i may not go to church or even believe in organized religion, BUT i don't live under a rock... is it that obvious that i'm such a church-avoiding sinner?

First Annual Jones Family Dump n' Dunk

First we cleaned out my parents' basement of all the crap us kids have left there over the years.

Then we went swimming and baptized the babies in Hemlock Gorge.

Somewhere in there we also ate Miah's probably world famous, definitely family famous, biscuits and gravy.

And we hoola-hooped, trampolined, found a snake in the yard, ate a LOT of food...

So anyway. it was fun.

The Post Birthday Blog Entry

So, as usual the day itself was wonderful. I woke up and did not feel any older. I didn't find any new wrinkles or saggy spots (though granted, the time i actually have to look at myself in the mirror is perhaps 1.26 seconds/day). Ben took the kids so i could sleep in. I awoke to an empty house (which for some reason tends to induce panic in me initially, but then i try to take advantage of having two free hands and start about 12 different projects, none of which i accomplish by the time they get back). On the table was my birthday presents from Ben and the kids - new rain boots and a new Death Cab for Cutie CD. I did some cleaning and made a cup of tea and then Ben and the kids came home with my birthday breakfast treats (donuts and chai latte, yum!).

Oma came for her weekly Esther adventure. They explored Oregon Ridge beach. Asa and I took the opportunity to spend some time with Lali. We went to Wegmans and bought treats for my birthday dinner (consisting mostly of goat cheese and things to eat it on). Then we wandered a bit and bought shoes for Esther and a necklace for me.

Then we all came home and spent the late afternoon/early evening running around the yard and having fun.

Jes and Ian and Lali and Grandpa came for dinner. We had a smorgasbord of goat cheeses, crusty breads, babaganoush, hummus, tomatoes, salad, corn on the cob, and Lali's homemade mango-peach salsa and guacamole. For dessert we had bumbleberry pie made from one day's pickin's of berries on our hillside (Lali-made as well), angel food cake (a tradition and all time fav.), and chocolate cake covered in berries and figs and nasturtium flowers.

After dinner we had rip roarin' hoola-hoopin' fun. (If i really feel like degrading myself later i may post a video of this, ben took some seriously embarrassing ones...) Then Lali and Grandpa told the traditional story of my birth. I have to say now that i've gone through birth with our little ones, i'm more and more thankful that we chose the out-of-hospital, midwife, un-medicated, woman-in-labor is the boss birth.

Jes and Ian got me a t-shirt with a Capucine quote and drawing (super cute). Dad got me a gift certificate to True Value, Lali bought me some Wegman's goodies and a massage, Oma got me various delectable treats, and Esther told me "happy birthday, mama" upward of 1,694 times. She also told me at one point during the day "it's okay, i love you little mama!" and after i handed an extremely exhausted, up WAY past her bedtime, cake-smeared Esther over to her father to read the bedtime story she brushed her hand gently over my hair and groggily said, with eyes closed, "you're very beautiful, mama"

i want this one

if i had it to do all over again (and the money) i'd get this carseat

New Workout Routine

And now for something truly embarrassing!!!

Birthday Blather or is it Blither?

as in blithering idiot...

So, i'm doing this a whole three and a half hours early. Or rather, since i was born at 2am, five and a half hours early...

It's been a weird couple of weeks leading up to my birthday. Usually, i look forward to my birthday. Cake, presents, people i haven't heard from since my last birthday call to tell me they love me, my mother telling the story of how i was born, and everyone laughing at me because i can't remember what we did this time last year because my memory is CRAP!

But this year, not so much... something horrid has been lurking in my psyche. Something to do with 29. I thought it was a fear of turning 30 but i think it's a little more complex than that. I look forward to my 30s for the most part - the kind of sophistication you simply cannot attain in your 20s no matter how suave you are. But what that little bitch in my head keeps saying is "this is it! times up!" Some clock (not the baby clock, i destroyed that with a blowtorch after we got pregnant with Asa)is ticking away and driving me mad. There is only one more year left to get done all those things on my "To Do Before I Turn 30" list. See, the thing is, when you're 21 making that list it seems like you have forever to do it all and so much energy to do it with... and then you graduate college and you struggle to make it out of the post-college/pre-career waste-land and then, if you're like me before you even leave that waste-land (actually, i may still be there i'm not sure) you had babies...

Now i'm not saying i haven't reached some huge milestones, but lets face it, who REALLY finishes the To-Do Before You Die list even after you find out you have a week to live? So now i'm trying not to panic and am re-working my list to look something like this:

To Do Before 30 i mean 50

And to make myself feel really good I've made this:

Things I Have Done Before I Turned 29

• gave birth to Esther (72 hours of labor - i don't care who you are, that's an accomplishment!) i should also add "parented her for almost 3 solid years"
  
• gave birth to Asa (only 10 hours of labor and an absolute picnic!) and "haven't slept since january" - i'd be a shoe-in for people capable of withstanding interrogation techniques
  
• married the only man i ever wanted to marry (hi honey!! look at me i'm being positive (if narcissitic)
• been sky diving
• gone swimming in the atlantic and pacific oceans and put my toes in the indian ocean
  
• crossed the u.s. in a car/truck more than 12 times
• drove around downtown seattle with a mask on pretending i was bank robber on the lamb
• went rock climbing with Lynn Hill
• graduated college
• got a job as a grant writer (hey mom, look at me! i'm being paid to WRITE!!)
  
• moved back home
• built (or had my husband and father build) my dream house
• driven several really fast cars
• started to learn to ride a motorcycle
• spent 3 months backpacking Alaska (on my 25th birthday i woke up inside the Artic Circle)
• backpacked all over the southwest including the grandcanyon, the superstition mountains, grand gulch, and Ute Mountain Tribal Park
• soaked in hot springs in Idaho
• flown over the ice fields of the Yukon (in a teeny tiny plane)
• officially lived in three separate states
• gone through 9 different addresses since leaving home (if you count the three months in my car and living at my grandmother's house while she was in Papua New Guinea)
• owned 7 different vehicles
• can make a good loaf of homemade bread without a recipe
• had one essay published in a literary magazine
• been to Sri Lanka, Dubai (just the airport though), Finland (Helsinki for 8 hours), Russia, England, and Scottland (and Canada too, but that doesn't really count...)
  

striking resemblance to Golem?

Carnival.

Dragon Train and Fun-nel cakes.

The Natural Defense Mechanism of Toddlers...

We're visiting Lali in the studio. We're all sitting on the floor rolling a ball to each other. Esther gets a little overly excited and throws it.

Me: Esther don't throw it please, roll it.

A little later, the same thing; she throws the ball out of sheer excitement.

Me: ESTHER! Please don't THROW it. ROOOOLL it!

Esther: Pat it, mark it with a B, and put it in the oven for baby and me... (complete with hand motions)

I had to hide so she couldn't see me giggling... she did anyhow...

Belated Thank You

I just wanted to thank everyone who responded to my identity crisis post.

Beth, Terri, JesKa, and Cassie you guys are absolutely AWESOME! thank you, thank you, thank you!

(and Cassie, Max is VERY, VERY cute, so glad i got to meet him this weekend. Smooch that chin for me!)

one more for good luck

my father is the king of the four leaf clover. He's found upwards of 13 a day this season alone. Also, he says he thinks it's a cry for help. As he's looking for these little buggers he hardly sees any honey bees. So on that note, I'm hoping to have a full hive by my birthday (and maybe FOR my birthday? hint hint** buzz buzz**)

I still have yet to find even one four leaf clover. (Miah and Ceci, the one i found while you were there was a set up. Dad found it first and I asked him to leave it there so i could pretend to find it while someone was looking ... hehehe... )

so i realize this blog is very feast and famine but here's another new post...

Her favorite thing to draw (although it is not pictured above) is Harry Potter. I'll have to get a photo of that soon. She also, apparently, carries him around in her belly "But someday he'll grow up."

Pictured above is Ceci - Esther's person art tutor and designated Creative Director of the hollow. We love you Aunt Ceci! -- oh and here i would like to point out that it is my brother's fault that Esther can use the word Cephalopod in a sentence.

My little singer song writer.

She takes after Ben. These are lyrics taken from various songs i've heard her sing over the last couple of days.

"Ooooh Dadddddieeeeee! He's a guy... and we're waaaaaaalking... He's got a skunk in his mooooouuuuthhh!!!"


"Nothing is REAL!! Everything is NOT REAL!! But it iiiiiSSSS Real, In my SHOOOOOOE!"


"Asa isn't big yet. But he'll be big some DAAAAAY! And then he'll walk with me to LAAAAAALi's HOOOOOOUUUUUUSE!

P is for Poop

Esther does her business, wipes, climbs down, looks in bowl

"It's a P mom! Because P is for Poop!!! HAHAHAHAHA!"

I look in the bowl too - it is indeed in the shape of a P.

Hello, my name's Esther.

These are those pictures we'll look back on and go awww... I personally like them because she's the same color, shape, and size as the watering can.








I told her to smile...

OOOOOHHHHH!!

Odd but Better

Today was a weird day but has left me feeling much better than my doom and gloom post from yesterday.

Asa was up all night again. Esther woke up at 4:30 this morning and refused to go back to sleep. Then Asa woke up just as i was sure i could get her to go back down and all hell broke loose. So i took one for the team and let ben go back to bed for a bit and i took the kids. Asa takes his first nap of the day around 9am so as it approached he became fussy so i roused Ben, put a movie on for Esther, a pot of coffee on for Ben, and sat down to nurse Mr Fussy-pants. by 9:30, the pot of coffee was full and cold, Asa was asleep upstairs in his crib and Esther, Ben, and I had all fallen asleep half way through A Grand Day Out. I awoke some time later with a sweaty Esther arm over my face and Ben and Asa upstairs playing something i like to call "thump, thump, screech." After Esther woke up we decided that all this rain and recent ranting warranted a family adventure (particularly one that involved fench fries).

Our outting was extremely successful and we came home with lots of treasures - a few goodwill goodies; records including patsy cline, the smothers brothers, and my personal favorite, the super hits vol. 2 which features people like otis redding and the beegees; a $3.00 hammer; a musical airplane; a small wooden airplane with a moving propeller; 6 unused napkins; a blue plastic bracelet; and a white trash t-shirt that makes my milkers look HUGE!

we've just had a lovely dinner of tofu sandwiches and left over potato salad which i just topped off with the first scoops of a brand new quart of chocolate velvet soy delicious.

so with our freezer full of promises, a young and yet unsoiled night, a booby shirt, and a great present for my dad tomorrow i will leave you with a few videos to ponder:

this first one is a sample of how esther greets her little brother every morning, with a lovely and very long version of happy birthday.



this second one is just cute but she's a little too quick to be caught on camera so beware those of you who get car sick.



And this last one is her with her new favorite after nap snack. not very filling but oh how fun.

Identity crisis or no sleep blues...

i think i'm having a mommy identity crisis. it's slowly dawning on me that i am not the kind of mom i always thought i would be. i'm much more like that hypothetical mommy that i swore i would never be. it depresses me how little "fun" i actually have as a parent. don't get me wrong, my kids are great and very funny... but about 97.4% of the time i'm yelling, or scolding, or teaching, or they're crying, or i'm crying... i don't know that i ever thought being a mom would necessarily be easy perse, but i certainly thought it would have come more naturally to me. there's some sort of mommy-instinct or "mother's intuition" that i seem to be missing. and it's not like any of this is all that new of an epiphany but most of the time i can comfortably ignore the nagging feeling that i'm one of those mommies (the kind who bribe, the kind who have children who protest by SHRIEKING*, the mean, unattentive, too busy, inconsistent, worried about how clean the house is, that thinks her kid is smarter than every other kid - and that's not necessarily a good thing, the kind who puts on Wallace and Gromit for the 3rd time today so she can sneak into the bathroom to eat the last traces of the chocolate velvet tofutti** because she doesn't want to share)... lately, it just makes me sad. and the real kick in the pants is how easily ben seems to have adapted to fatherhood. i know things aren't easy for him either and that he doesn't necessarily have some sort of super psychic power over the children (what i wouldn't give for mind-control capabilities these days). i think it's more that he seems more... um... content. meanwhile there are those awful rotten days where i am just waiting for the neighbors to call CPS for all the screaming and when those glorious CPS reps show up at my door i won't say anything i'll just hand them the screaming biter, and shove the very dirty, loud toddler that has been recently evicted from either under the table or from around one or both of my legs and i will skip away down the lane a whole 3 inches taller from the weight that is no longer crushing my will to... well to do what ever i want... which, sad as it is, runs more towards having 5 minutes alone in the bathroom than going to france and buying shoes.

but just now it occurs to me why so many people read dooce. because... i'm not alone... so if you're out there, reading this and not shaking your head thinking i'm nuts and half way through dialing CPS yourself give me a shout out... i could use some solidarity just now...


*oh the shrieking. albeit, it's happy shrieking but it's that earpiercing, just-this-side-of-a-dog-whistle, the skies are about to open and swallow everything, air-raid siren, we're all about to die, someone's hearing aid is malfunctioning, faulty microphone on stage SHRIEKING!!!! i gave birth to a banshee... and the other one thinks it's funny and does all she can to encourage said SHRIEKING!!! i have fantasies about calling him up when he's an adult and when he answers "hello" in his cool, suave, grown-up, chest-hair voice i will SHRIEK directly into the mouthpiece for a good solid 20 seconds and then hang up... oh and just for real fun i'll do it at 3:29am exactly.

**and the tofutti isn't because i'm being good and health conscious, it's mainly because if i eat any sort of dairy or even walk through the refridgerated dairy section Asa is up howling 12 times in the night rather than his standard 5 times.

Doctor's visit

Asa had his first doctor's appointment yesterday (aside from his two-day and three-week check ups at the birthcenter). It went well. He got his first round of immunizations (i know, i know... ). Poor kid. He did stellar though - well Ben says he did. I had to work yesterday so Ben took Asa and i missed it. Which is probably better for everyone as I'm relatively sure immunizations are part of a larger conspiracy and my children tend to know when i'm anxious and thus freak out a bit more than they would normally.

Ben says Asa is 19lbs, but i think he messed that up and will be weighing him myself later on this week (i don't have a scale and have to go to Lali's and Grandpa's house and use theirs).

In other news, Becky and Alan are on the two week count down to their nupituals. I'll be hosting a small bachelorette party here in honor of the death of Becky's single-personhood (which, in all honesty started getting gravely ill as soon as she and Alan started dating).

And to top it all off, here are few pictures of my extremely white amish husband and Esther (who insisted on wearing my t-shirt after she got out of the pool) in the garden.