Pictures from Easter....

(photos courtesy of Oma)

Esther hugging Uncle Eric, or almost...

Asa on the trampoline...











Sisters-in-law...in dress...

Sweethearts...

Forsythia bush...

Esther and her new friend, Rebecca.

Me... in mom mode... (and yeesh, my slouching problem is getting worse with old age...)

Brothers and sisters are for loving...

i like to squish them into the jogging stroller together and take walks along the driveway and down to the water...

I also think it's good for teaching them personal space and boundaries...

First Dates...

Hannah paid.

i-phony

Yes. i know i'm terribly behind the techno-curve but here i am all bleary-eyed from staring at my new i-phone pretty much for the past three days straight.

Still trying to figure out how to blog on it.   Christy said something about e-mailing my posts to blogger... i'll figure it out sooner or later.

So the whole purpose behind getting the iphone was that i would be available pretty much all the time for work e-mails, phone calls, tech support, and yada yada.  I also get the rfp's right as they come out so there's that too. Unfortunately this means i have to be much more vigilant about keeping my phone about my person. Anyone who calls me on a regular basis knows i hardly ever answer the phone.  The reason for this is not so much because i don't want to talk to you, or because my hands are full of screaming babies (though that does happen too), but more because i don't know where my phone is.

And since warmer weather is here and this means shorts and tanks and skirts and things without pockets, the real crux of the matter is where am i supposed to put my phone? Duh! a purse.  I have never really carried a purse. I've had a backpack, a briefcase, a messenger bag, tote bags, re-useable grocery bags, and diaperbags... but never a purse. I guess the closest i've come is one of those travel money pouches fat white american's get when they travel to europe for the first time.

So if anyone has a good stylish but not too stylish suggest of a good purse or purse manufacturer can you steer me in the right direction?  It should be small so it can be chucked in the diaperbag but big enough for the phone, my wallet, and a knife. And preferrably with a long strap so i can wear it across my body (messenger bag style).

Date Night

Now that my folks are back from Mexico Ben and I got a date night last night.

We went to the Hereford Feed Mill. Listened to a poultry seminar and placed an order for 6 lovely chickies.

Our girls arrive on April 13th!
You get to help us name them!!! (See the poll to the left there? GOOD now go do it!)

I fixed the poll try it again.

Esther's weekend ...

(snaps courtesy of Oma)

In the grocery store with Esther...

In the produce isle.
Esther sitting in the seat in the cart.
Can't seem to get the seat belt buckle undone. getting frustrated.
she says in her high angelic voice...

"What idiot designed this thing!?"

It's been a good day...

How many almost 30 year olds do you know who can still put their feet behind their head?

(don't ask how i discovered i could still do this)

Actresses i would want to play me in the movie of my life...

you know... if i were tooting my own horn and going for broke.

1) Zooey Deschanel

2)  Ellen Page

3) Shannyn Sossamon

Oh, Me. You're so talented.

I just learned that i did a REALLY good job at work. twice. in a row.
GO ME!!!

(i think that when people do a good job at work someone should provide cake)

 Sorry about being cryptic... it's confidential...

playing with the template...

ignore the man behind the curtain... ok well don't. but ignore my fumbling with the look of the blog... i'll get it right one of these days...

Obsessively watching while i'm supposed to be working...

Becky. Thanks for THIS site.

rough nights...

Asa is cutting yet MORE teeth. I mean seriously, how many teeth does a person need?? He's had a fever for three days now. Won't sleep unless he's laying directly on top of me and even then he tends to whimper all night.

God, Evolution, whatever dictates the next step in human development - no teeth. osmosis.

finally...

I would like to congratulate the House of Representatives for its historic, final passage of the health care reform legislation, the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (H.R. 3590), along with the Health Care and Education Affordability Reconciliation Act of 2010 (HR 4872) which makes improvements to the Senate bill. The reforms will give quality, affordable health care to nearly all Americans for the first time in our nation's history.

new favorite food blog

http://smittenkitchen.com/

Nostalgia

Why is everyone feeling so damned nostalgic lately?

Also, spring is making me really weird. i need some sort of binge or something...
what happened to the days when we could just take off for the mountains and do nothing but swim and fish and drink and be wild things and get it all out....

ahhh. those were the days...

Wishing i had a better camera...

ah... the innocence... it's a ruse.
these were my present from Stoner's Auction from Ben.this one is a Ferrari Berlinetta. Notice how the steering wheel is on the other side of the car?
The kids being awed by the weather actually being warm enough to open the windows. Notice the patches of snow still outside the window though... it's still winter i guess...


this is a common game. something about kids and laundry baskets...
she's a princess...
this was the Valentine's day pie i made. we had dinner with my brother and may-as-well-already-be-sister-in-law. It's a sour cherry pie and the top i made to look like cherries but cut them out to be hearts... it was kinda cute before the gore of devouring it...
my fellas. man, they're cute even when the look really unhappy...

spring spring spring spring spring...

spring.

anyone else experiencing animalistic responses to spring???

i'm starving.
lascivious.
loud.
barely contained.
hypomanic.
histrionic.
overly aggressive.

if i were a bird i'd be banging repeatedly into glass windows... as it is, i'm trying to breathe deeply.

seriously, someone may want to place bets on whether or not Ben is going to survive the season...
(sorry relatives who don't want to know that)

a trite summation of parenting by Libby Jones

You spend the first few years keeping them from killing themselves and each other by accident.

Then the next few years keeping them from killing each other on purpose.

Next you keep them from trying to kill themselves because they think they're invincible.

and then you keep them from killing themselves on purpose because they've just had kids of their own and they spend every minute of every day completely terrified.

A spring in his step!!!

HE'S WALKING!!!!!
HE'S WALKING!!!!
HE'S WALKING!!!!!!!!!

(cinematographic proof, coming soon!)

and in other news. i had my first acroyoga workshop last night and this morning i feel great. wide awake (sans coffee). strong. tall. and like someone dropped me out a four story window into an empty dumpster...

videos... videos... vid-E-yo's

budding romance...

Now that my kids have been free of contagious diseases for the better part of two weeks, we have begun leaving the house... more or less... more less than more but...

Yesterday found Esther at school and Asa and I wandering the streets of baltimore trying to pick up chicks. not true. Actually, we went to Terri's house and had a play date. Hannah is almost 7 months old. Asa is 13 months old. They are pretty much the same size. i know, i know, big surprise considering Asa's mother... but i have to tell you, it doesn't, on a regular basis, occur to me how small i am. I don't often see reflections of myself standing next to someone else and I'm rather used to craning my neck at a 90 degree angle to the rest of my body to talk to most folks. And while i know i'm short, and the scale in the bathroom refuses to show three digits (bragging? probably...), it's still rather surprising when evidence of my slightness becomes un-ignorable. such as in my lilliputian children amongst their peers.

Anyhow, here's the happy young couple (photos courtesy of Terri and stolen from her blog where they're much more artfully posted)

Asa being all "no. no. THIS is how you do it - it's called MASH all the buttons!"
Asa trying to determine how many teeth Hannah now has. And Hannah wondering why in the hell Asa won't get out of her face.
he's trying to be cool so she'll like him more.
ok, kudos to me and my child who likes to share.
and hug
and of course the "we weren't doing anything bad" faces...

Baby Bowling...

"Jerking him around" she says...

roller derby divine!

two of my bestest friends in the entire universe skate on roller derby teams in Atlanta. and aside from circus joining fantasy, my other one is running away to atlanta and skating with them. i found this website that makes up derby names for you... and oddly enough i found this one to be rather appropriate. so cheers to Agent Mauledher and Aeon Flex. my heros!


and here's hoping i can put this name to use someday... or at least pretend.

My brand-new Roller Derby Name is Baby Bloodvessel.
Take MIA PSYCHO'S ROLLER DERBY NAME GENERATOR today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Living in a Snowglobe.

The snow has ceased to fall straight down and now swirls around going every which way. The mountains of snow left from the monster storms are slowly melting but still there's no end in sight.

On another note, my to-be-sister-in-law is teaching me static trapeze. Here are a couple of her performances. Though she usually does doubles, i'm just learning simple singles stuff.








so now i'm dreaming of running away to join the circus. Or maybe starting one of our own. Perhaps i could dress Asa up as a bear and give Esther a whip... it'd be perfect really.

my life in three videos...

Storm Large 8 Miles Wide... hilarious...

Wha Wha??

It's been blizzarding...
for almost a week...
we're buried...
it's taller than Esther...
and my daughter is a superhero. a very fast, very loud, very violent superhero...
who lives only on apples... without the skins...

she and her sidekick are addicted to juice...

naked suits...

buried alive...

i'd write more but we're buried under tons of snow...
can't get out to blog...
soooo cold...

oh spring, my spring. what a distant fantasy you are...

because i'm on a roll...

I wanted to share this oh-so-scary bear-like thing. This was given to her by the paramedics during the night she was transported via ambulance to the ER. Apparently the Lions club or some such group makes and donates them... but who in the hell was given the sharpie to draw on the eyebrows. What kid wouldn't be completely terrified by this face?? especially a kid who is already scared out of their head by having to ride in an ambulance??

just terrifying...

another of Esther's beautiful outfits. Note the eye mask worn around the torso. I though maybe she was wearing it as a bra but turns out it's a back brace like the kind daddy wears to work.
and this picture is to demonstrate just a small portion of the chaos and complete bedlam that is my house.

Heaven.

Heaven looks like this.

finally some pictures...

I couldn't help posting this perfect picture of Asa's hippo-teeth.
Our budding musician complete with her "tortured artist" face...


This picture doesn't quite capture it but he was trying like crazy to climb up the counter... thankfully he couldn't get a foot hold.
more hippo-teeth...
Esther's really awesome outfit. She dresses herself these days and i have to say, that alone is a reason to have kids. it's hilarious...

chicken counting...

i may be counting my unhatched chickens but i'm hoping we're hereby beginning a short reprieve from sickness and chaos here.

The kids are feeling much better, if a little tired and still a bit coughful and sneezy. Ben and I are working out our own mucus (he more than i, poor fella). Asa is still VERY clingy with me and for some reason fighting sleep though crazy-tired. But despite all that, we're doing WAAAAAY better than last week.

Something about having your kid flip into a seizure suddenly really sets you on edge. Especially if you don't know it's a seizure and are pretty sure that they aren't seizing but are DYING... takes some time to recover from that...

So.

Not much to note. Work is a bit hectic. We're starting out one of our locations on new software that we designed and had built. It's still full of little "hiccups" which i am figuring out how to work around or get fixed. It's tough because these are medical records and therefore held to high standards.

One week until my sister and brother-in-law come to visit for hog butchering weekend... and of course the hog butchering is coming up. Bacon holds a very special place in my heart probably second only to donuts (see what i mean about the 400lbs??? -- and now that Asa is moving more toward real food rather than milk my slight 93lbs is beginning it's steady and soon to be very fast climb toward 400lbs)

two weeks until Esther's scheduled weekend with Oma (which i have marked in my mind as Ben and my romantic weekend since we'll only have one kid. We set up babysitters for both fri and sat. i'm a'hopin to get me some! -- ok, so that's more than you wanted to know... but it's true so stop looking at me like that)

OH OH OH and (after some persuasion)i have decided to go dancing at least once a month and gain back some of my old self. (LAURA! are you listening?? DANCING. Glen Echo, Lovely Lane, anywhere you want girl. i got two itchy feet, old dancing shoes, and a lot of angst. let's dance!

update

we're doing better, or i should say the kids are... Esther is mostly back to her old self. Asa was awful yesterday. high fever and so pathetic as to break my heart and send me into hyper-aware/worried sick mode just waiting for him to seize or breathing to be labored... but after a horrendous night of walking around and around and praying both kids seem to be feeling much better if still slightly feverish and doped up on ibuprofen.

i, on the other hand, am still reeling in the after effects of it all and consequently, running very short on... just about everything... patience, time, sympathy, sleep, medicine,affection,... i've been eying that bottle of wine since 9:30 this morning. alcoholism here i come.

ang-grrrrr

i've been oscillating all day between feeling relieved that every things going to be fine and angry with myself, circumstances, how things played out (though, honestly they really did play out the best possible way they could have...)

i'm just so done with the kids being sick. We've had more sickness pass through this house this year than the rest of my life put together. We are doing every preventative thing we know to do...

i'm done. so very very very freakin' done with all this... if i could roll over and give in, toss in my chips, anything... i would.

i'm exhausted. i'm feeling victimized by our own cluelessness, stupidity, and helplessness. i want to curl up into a little ball and let someone else be the mama for a little while. vacation from being me.

has anyone ever died of worrying too much?

Asa is now running a fever. children's motrin for everyone... maybe we should buy stock...

crazy night...

We just got back from the emergency room. After a couple days of Esther running a fever and coughing but otherwise not bad, she had a seizure. there is nothing scarier than when your child (who has never had a seizure before) seizes. And the odd thing is we had NO IDEA what was going on. She wasn't doing the shaking, gurgling, foaming at the mouth kind you see on House. It was the completely shut down, eyes-wide-open but unfocused, un-responsive, barely breathing kind. TERRIFYING. It was fever induced and called a febrile seizure.

she has RSV. we are quarantining ourselves. if you've had contact with us recently, i'm very sorry.

Asa's Birthday Letter

Dear Asa,

Today, my son, you turn one year old. I cannot believe it’s been a year, in some ways it feels like you’ve always been with us. I was just noticing how I do not have any pictures of you up on the cabinet part of the desk where we have several of Esther and other folks. This, along with the fact that I planned your party late and we are not making nearly as much fuss as we did when Esther turned a year, is making me feel extremely guilty. But in my defense Esther’s big one year party was not really my idea or plan, Lali and Grandpa got in on that. And more in my defense, between you and your sister we are kept so incredibly busy that I haven’t had the time to print up pictures of you to put on the desk. We have, rest assured, taken plenty of pictures of you. You’ll know at some point, how much I like to plaster them on the internet for all to see.

It’s been a crazy year. Crazy, sleepless, nerve-shattering, hilarious. You have seven teeth already and more on the way. You are probably about 18 lbs by now, bigger than your sister was at a year, but also smaller than most babies your age. You keep teasing us with saying a word once and then not saying it again… ever. You’ve said, clear as day: grandpa, hat, mama, Esther, Lali, open. The only word you seem to be able to say on a regular basis is “Dada.” You aren’t walking yet but you are standing on your own. You get on your hands and feet and then slowly lift yourself into a standing position and then you clutch your hands together and shake them about like you’ve just won the Olympics. It’s hilarious. You smile a lot. You laugh a lot. Esther can make you chuckle even when you’re crying. Granted she’s pretty funny, but it’s so amazing to have such a good-hearted, happy-go-lucky, sweet boy for a son. You are cuddly and a true adventure loving wild man! You are fearless, curious, and thankfully, very hearty. You are also a mama's-boy. Which, i take full blame for. I am with rare exception wrapped around your little finger. Even in the most frustrating of moments (like when i catch you playing in the potty chair) your impish grin and gigantic innocent eyes have me, despite myself, grinning even as i'm trying to scold you.

You have recently developed a penchant for getting in things, boxes, baskets, bags, under the kitchen table, inside the potty chair (which is hopefully clean...). You are impossible to keep still. You are always on the move. Especially as soon as i get your diaper off you for a diaper change, you somehow, at that moment develop super-human speed and strength and manage to get away from me shrieking in glee all the while.

Asa, you are an amazing boy. We love you so very, very, very much. Thank you for choosing us.

-Mama

One Year Ago Yesterday...

One year ago yesterday...

today...

Happy birthday little man... you turned 01 on 01.10.10
(yeah, yeah a day late...) We love you IMMENSELY!!

coming soon: your birthday letter post. i am working on it... i'm a slow poke and a procrastinator

Asa Gerbil

not sure when or who took this video of Asa but i found it uploaded on Ben's you tube channel so thought i'd share here too...

belated thanksgiving video

Esther's Preschool Thanksgiving pageant

two thousand ten...

hello and happy new year everyone.

the holidays are finally over and now begins the tedious and somewhat comforting if extremely mundane business of getting back to normal.

i feel like so much has happened recently that i ought to mention... but faced with this blank screen i can't seem to recall much of it...

a good friend of mine was in a bad car accident on new years eve but is doing fine last i spoke with her (if you're reading this i'll call you soon... i hope i'm right in assuming no news is good news...)

r&r were in town (still are for a few more hours...). it was wonderful to see them again. also awful cause it's such a whirlwind of craziness i never feel like i am in a good place to just sit down and visit properly. Rae, with her extreme kitchen goddess-ness initiated a donut making frenzy on new years eve. which were a big hit. and were fried in my x-mas present THE fry daddy.

yes, folks. a fry daddy... and so begins my journey to the land of "This is Why Your Fat"
by next new years i will be 400lbs (hey, all you australians - what is that in metric?)

we got to see the McGuires in all their glory and hilarity...

my grandmother's flowerbox burst into spontaneous flames...

my sister and andy were not able to come this christmas or new years but we're looking forward to having a second christmas at the end of the month with them. It will also be a mass birthday celebration for Miah (2/2), Casey (2/9), Asa (1/10), and Ceci (1/11). Speaking of birthdays, my father turned 58 on 12/30. I made him the traditional batch of buckeye chocolates. And we had a small celebration eating large gelatinous mass of deliciousness that is snow pudding.

Asa turns a year on Sunday. We're looking forward to a small gathering, some cake eating, and watching Asa try to pop balloons by biting them. He's growing like a weed... though a smaller variety of weed than some... not to name names (ah-hem LOGAN). Also, Asa finds himself betrothed to another baby beauty (sorry, Hannah you'll have to share) by the name of Logan Sky Walker. yes, SKY WALKER, no joke, awesome, right!!?? The enormously funny thing about both Hannah and Logan is that they're both going to be rather tall and Asa, i'm sorry son, but you come from midgets. and if i can get ceci to teach me the ropes (ha! get it ROPES -- she does trapeze) we'll be circus midgets. i'm so so so sorry my hippo-teethed circus midget boy. good luck getting a date some day.

And because i am prone to rather lengthy posts and do not have any pictures to share (yes i'm a horrible mother for not wielding a camera at every photogenic or even unphotogenic moment and rely solely on others to send me the pics they managed to snap) and also cause you're all dying to know, though over half of my readers (of which there are a total of maybe 3) saw her over the holidays, about Esther.

Esther is a three year old. She is LOUD (earlier today she was riding Asa's little car/cart/walking thing around the house while simultaneously banging on a pot with a spoon and singing rather far off key and in nonsense language.

The other day she asked me "Mom, you remember when Asa was in your belly? well, did he come out through your belly button?" Now, i'm telling you this because i'm hoping someone will leave me a comment to really grind in what a horrible mother i am... but i was COMPLETELY taken off guard.

My first impulse was to tell the truth, then i realized that that might either really freak her out OR fascinate her and lead her to telling all her preschool friends, teachers, and random folks in the grocery store what daddy does to mommy... with that in mind i decided it could probably wait at least a year before we begin that adventure... my second impulse was to change the subject, which i gallantly tried to do, more than once i might add. but to no avail.

Then Ben jumped in and tried a new tack "he came out the same way he got in" but this did not satisfy her at all. So i finally conceded and agreed that he came out through my belly button... i know i suck... i should have told her the truth... and i will, but i'm thinking i'll wait until she asks again, which knowing Esther will be sooner than i hope.

Ben has started work on a business venture which is definitely NOT a scheme. I am trying to stay out of it but be supportive (particularly by staying out of it). But i'm ashamed to say, i'm not very good at being supportive and i'm an awful wife.

i guess that about catches you all up on things in our dank little sour milk and gold fish cracker world.

New Year's resolution: NO MORE KIDS.

party-on wayne...

Holidays, despite the fact that i still had to go to work today, are still in full-swing. Well maybe not full swing. We're currently in a little lay period between holidays. But starting tomorrow the celebrations continue on.

I'm taking the kids to visit cousins tomorrow and bringing R&R back with me. Then it's food and fun all through the new year celebration. Bring it on 2010!!!! I can take it... i think... maybe...

I'm glad christmas is mostly over... still have a few gifts hanging around that need delivered to their rightful owners.

I have several out-of-towners i still need to see... and in-towners (we miss you j&i!!!).

On a positive note, that week i spent working my butt off has paid off. so yippie!! my first big win... (if you're peeking in my window right now, you'll see me preening).

bonfire (weather permitting) and booze on new years eve in the hollow. all are welcome... bring stuff if you want stuff... and don't count on me to make it to midnight. i'm old. and tired. and will be curled up on the sofa in Esther's and Asa's room.

have i mentioned i miss you? i miss you.

4th day of christmas...

we're very tired and fussy...
tis the season for greed...
next year santa is only bringing apple sauce for the kids.

more later...

are IOUs acceptable xmas presents?

It's been an insane few weeks. I worked a 48 hr week (as opposed to my normal 20 hr work week) not last week but the week before. Patrice came to visit (hi patchop!!!). and we now have two feet of snow burying us... we have dug tunnels to essential places like the car park, the shop, and my parents' house...

i'm still feeling like a pissy little ingrate about christmas though. it just does not seem humanly possible to finish everything i need to in the next couple of days. i should have picked some less labor intensive presents (and probably things that don't involve needles to make...) but i'm not sure if there is anything i'm capable of doing with little people attached to my limbs, aside from whining of course.

The snow makes me happy though... but again, since i'm so good at whining, it's hard to go out and play in it. Esther's good in the snow, hours of entertainment making armies of knee-high snowmen (it's wicked cute!!!). But Asa doesn't keep his mittens on and freezes and won't let me just hold him... i need one of those snow suits like maggie from the simpsons has, the star one. And maybe a deep sea helmet for over top his head...

i kind of want to post pictures but it will take forever with our slow as @ss connection (the dish is under two feet of snow) and i should really get back to poking things with needles, baking little people, and supergluing my fingers together. ahhh. the christmas spirit - stress and panic. nothing like a good holiday to make you feel like you're running out of time.