Ain't he beeeooootifoool?

It looks like he's wearing fishnets here, but it's actually just the shadow from the netting around the trampoline (which is where i'm taking the picture from)...

Our pre-dinner cabaret show... hehehe.

coming soon to a blogpost near you...

The girl-weekend in Brooklyn, NY.
It was very fantastic!!!! I almost felt childless again...

Belated Father's Day post

we had a very pleasant father's day. We spent the morning with my parents having brunch (omlets, bagels with cream cheese, smoked salmon, and capers, watermelon and berries right off the bushes) on the new deck. the afternoon with Ben's dad, and sister, and her husband. We went to get ice cream... we came home and Ben put his new grill to good use cooking up the tenderloin for this lovely taco salad. We ate dinner with my parents.

Hope everyone else's father's day was just as joyous and full of tasty treats!

(photos courtesy of Jessica Hopkins, Ben's sister)

He's cheating on me with twitter...

Ben has a secret twitter life. Well, not so much secret because i know about it. But i'm not allowed to follow him... i'm not allowed to know his account name or who he follows through that account... and I'm ok with this. or at least thought i was until recently. Now i'm feeling jealous of twitter...

She (twitter) makes him laugh. He spends every spare moment with her or thinking about something she said or thinking about what he's going to tell her next. Every night for hours he just stares at her. My children compete with her for their daddy's attention. She's beautiful and fun and makes him feel young and unencumbered again.

And i want him to have that. i do. i really do.

so how do i stop wanting to hunt him down on twitter and secretly read his tweets? i don't want to be THAT kind of wife. the spying kind... the jealous kind... the needy kind... the old ball and chain...

But Twitter, if you're out there reading this. I want my husband back... or at least parts of him... maybe we could work out some sort of joint custody...

Pictures from Logan and Marcie's wedding...

yes, i'm very incapable of doing anything in a timely manner...

Senorita Grumpy-pants

I hate everything.

I especially hate twitter. and the piano. and my innate selfishness. and my inability to communicate properly. and my laziness. and my dissatisfaction. and all you perfectly happy, well adjusted, fulfilled parents out there.

i'm going to go set fire to something and maliciously watch it burn and pretend it's screaming...
or maybe i'll just crawl under my desk for a while and talk to myself.

Don't Shoe Want Me? i know i want Shoe!

Modcloth.com

REI.com

anthropologie.com

barebonesworkwear.biz

zappos.com

To party or not to party...

I have a very generous offer (THANK YOU JES and ERIC!!! -- oh and hey, how do you know when my birthday actually is? please tell me it was facebook or something because i haven't any idea when yours is, i'd have to consult the facebook gods) to host my birthday party. This is severely tempting so consider it a possible "back on"...

Now... what to do with the babies... because i plan on getting thoroughly soused. What better way to celebrate turning 30 than getting completely plastered, hitting on your friends' husbands, noisily doing your own husband in the one bathroom in the house with a line of people who have to pee rolling their eyes right outside the door, and then yakking up the beautiful cake all over your hosts' front stoop, and being hauled home by your embarrassed 28 year old man. aaahhhh. being an adult is so much fun.

So. Any one free on the 17th?

Poor Party Planning skillz

I attempted to throw Not a Bridal Shower for my to-be-sister-in-law yesterday. The idea was that instead of a bridal shower it was a "welcome to the family" celebration. No presents or silly games or fancy things. And because i love tea parties it was to be a Mad Hatter themed tea party. We all wore hats.

Unfortunately, because i'm an idiot, and a busy idiot, and a classic UNDER-planner... i scheduled it for a day that Ceci (the bride-to-be) and my brother are to drive back from New York. So the party was originally set for 2pm but after learning their traveling plans we pushed it to 4pm with an understanding that they might not get there right at 4 (It was a surprise anyway so it would best if they were late). However, as with almost everything i do lately, it fell apart. Ceci wasn't able to get there until 8:30pm. There were about 5 of us left... And poor Miah (my brother) and Ceci had spent no less than 10 hours in the car, in traffic, on a very HOT day.

I feel like crap for having contributed to their stresses of trying to get home in a timely manner...

It was great hanging out with all of my aunties though! And over-all it was a fun, food-filled day. We just missed Ceci...

With all of this in mind, i'm leaning toward not having a birthday party after all. There's been a rumor going around (because i've been telling everyone) that i want to celebrate my big 'dirty' 30 in style... but it seems like a lot of work, hassle, and with the wedding only a couple weeks before the day my party was supposed to take place i just feel like it's too much. The idea was to get to hang out with all of you that i never get to see anymore because i'm so entrenched in my own life full of smashed bananas, half-chewed goldfish crackers, and 8pm Armageddon-style bedtimes. so maybe not this year. but hey 31 is a good birthday too, huh? so next year folks. next year... in the mean time you're more than welcome to mail me expensive and extravagant birthday presents!!!

Dandelion Snow

(my new adopted brother)

Expedit Bookshelf?

I want a 4x4 ikea EXPEDIT bookcase for upstairs. Anyone getting rid of one or know anyone who is? i keep check craigslist but i'm not willing to pay $80...

a giant waste of time... oh and kid pics.

It has been a rotten day. Not all bad... but if my day were an apple i totally didn't see the wormy part and just bit into a big nasty squishy brown gooey section...

I got a flat tire yesterday about a 1/2 mile from home on my way to work. I'm fairly sure it was from the driveway as my dad has been adding on to the shop that he and Ben share which is right beside our shared driveway.

anyhow, today i went to get it fixed at sears the same place we bought our tires from ONLY 12 WEEKS AGO!!!! anyway it took them an hour and a half to tell me that they couldn't patch it and that i need to buy a whole new tire for WAAAAY too much money. So i went down tot he Mr. Tire who also -- despite my desperate young mother, obviously poor, with two young and cranky children -- was a complete douche bag and couldn't help me, at least not without me shelling out some serious cash. At which point i had a minor meltdown in the parking lot while buckling the kids into the car.

sigh. stupid. stupid. stupid... i think what makes it more stupid is the fact that i keep getting slightly unexpected (mostly cause i'm just disorganized these days) bills in the mail. grrrr.

on an up note. Ben was finally paid for the last 3 months of work so things ought to be looking back up again as soon as i can make it to the bank (on a slightly dry rotted spare tire and the wing of a prayer). Maybe it's some sort of karmic payback for only washing enough dishes to keep the sink from overflowing... or for always driving like a maniac... or maybe i just need to get better at handling stupid shit.

so as for pics:

notice how sticking out of each boot is the handle of a wooden sword?

She's a robot... playing with a beer box... what excellent parents we are...

Almost everyone i've ever met in my entire life has a picture of themselves when they were about Asa's age sitting in a highchair and absolutely covered in spaghetti (except me but we were macrobiotic for a long time growing up). Ben's picture he's sound asleep... no such luck here but man... i'm still finding noodles in various folds...

This is from strawberry picking with j, joanna, joanna's julian, and aunta nini. This particular moment is riding out to the strawberry field. Asa just woke up from a nap and is hiding.

Esther feeding julian strawberries... and looking slightly afraid that he'll try to eat her. Even with the massive appetite, he's a gentle giant... but definitely a giant. He's not even a year old and he looks pretty much the same size as Esther in this photograph.

how hulking am i!!!

Your results:
You are Hulk

Hulk 95% Supergirl 87% The Flash 80% Wonder Woman 77% Green Lantern 70% Iron Man 70% Spider-Man 65% Catwoman 65% Robin 64% Superman 45% Batman 45%

You are a wanderer with amazing strength.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

Just joined Twitter. LiverJones... Ya know, just in case the trite,
self-centered bitchy blogging isn't enough.

I'm tired... Anyone know if where I can get a snooze button for the
kiddos?

Sent from my iPhone

Duncan: but Dr. Sues isnt't out here
Esther: maybe he was tooken by aliens...

Sent from my iPhone

Are they cute or what?!!

The Amazing Chicken-coop building machine i married...

Moving day, moving day, every chicken's moving day!!!

Old House:

More recent old house:

And brand spankin' new house!!!

Removing the Curse

So, in light of all the shit that has bombarded us in the last week and day (Esther just barely missed being blinded in one eye today with chicken wire, and then later was hit in the other eye with the swing)...

Ben and I are going to go perform a bit of curse removal magic... the best and only real magic i know. you know what i'm talking about...

Google: How to remove a curse...

I am now googling how to remove a curse... Why? you ask.

Well because adding to the liturgy of last weeks run of bad luck - saturday evening Asa fell off the porch step and sprained his arm. He also, now has an ear infection. Esther has temporary hearing loss from her ear infection (which, thankfully seems to be clearing up). And yesterday Asa, after an abnormally long crying jag, was stung on the foot by a wasp... sending him into an even longer, angrier, fit of outrage and pain.

Poor buddy.

Anyone know a good psychic who can help us to remove a curse?

Evolution of my hair

As of this morning... When will I ever learn to stop trusting ben with
scissors?

Evolution of my hair

I feel the need to post a "doing better so please don't worry update"
so you won't, you know, worry.

Everyone is still sick but seemingly on the mend more or less... No
one went to the ER yet at least. And I'm ordering myself to stop
having a nervous break down.

I'm working from home tomorrow and that shoul eliminate some work
stress at least (fingers crossed anyhow).

So as long as we can keep moving in this general direction I think
we'll be alright.

If anyone can teach me some good anti-anxiety yoga poses and deep
breathing techniques that'd be very welcome.

Sent from my iPhone

losing it...

i think i'm starting to come apart at the seams... the shit is hitting the fan all over the place and i just can't keep up. just when i think it really sucks, it gets worse...

and the truly fucked up part, i feel as though i have absolutely NO right to lose my shit... because i'm not the only one on the front lines. Ben is right down here with me, covered in shit too... and what's he doing? smiling. telling me he loves me... sneezing a lot (because he has a cold)

at least i have him.

Ben, if you read this (which i doubt) i am so very, very, very and publicly thankful for you. and i'm sorry i don't handle these crisis situations with as much stoicism as you.

Cherry on top

Now Esther has a severe ear ache. She and I have been awake since 2am...
Please somebody, make it stop!!!!!!!!

Sent from my iPhone

The extrememly rough week...

First on Sunday evening i completely lose my shit and breakdown crying in front of EVERYONE... i hate that. i also blame crazy pms and stupid hormones...

Then, Sunday night just before bedtime, Esther has an accident with the hammock...

fat lip, scrapes on her face and nose...

she's fine though...

Then midway through my work day on Monday i start feeling really awful, turns out i have some sort of stomach virus... I spent the better part of Monday and all day Tuesday quarantined in the camper trying really hard to not dehydrate myself.  it's now Wednesday morning and I've finally turned a corner... i can leave the bathroom anyhow... and aside from a splitting headache (probably because i'm dehydrated)... i think i'll survive.

However, Ben and Asa both have colds. There was little sleep to be had last night as Asa was coughing a good part of the night which always makes me anxious.  And Ben is exhausted from worrying about me, sneezing incessantly, and also not getting any sleep

and this morning Esther woke up hacking too...

So, hoorah for us. if we come through this ok, i'll be extremely thankful...

The tortures of living in one of the smallest houses known to mankind:
1) the "cry it out method" is an absolute joke.
2) when one of us gets sick we have to run away from home in order to
get any rest and to avoid contaminating everyone else
3) my children will be the ones on the playground explaining to all
the other kids what sex is...
4) sometimes I think my children are so abnormally small because they
can only grow as big as their environment allows... Forget genetics
and the fact that I'm shorter than 90% of amrican 12 year olds.
Sent from my iPhone

Stomach flu

Not sure if all the hate and frustration led to the flu or vise versa.
It may not even be the flu, but whatever it is it's got my number...

Sent from my iPhone

hate and hormones...

i'm so full of hate, anger, frustration, and debilitating self pity these days. I think it's even poisoning my system and making me physically ill.

My natural response to stuff like this is to run away. I want to run away. I want to browse craigslist for a house in arizona, alaska, peru, the yukon... i want to run away so desperately i can even feel myself packing up the house, the kids, ben... and running away.

Any judgment i ever made on people who stayed in their hometown i completely take back. It is so much harder to settle home than anywhere else in the world.

oh, and Esther had an accident involving the hammock, Pirate Ian, and the unforgiving ground... she has a fat lip, some scrapes, and some dirty which might be permanently lodged in her nasal cavities... but other than that she seems alright.  I however, am waiting for the preschool to call social services...

Does anyone have these shoes?

How do you like them??

Testing iPhone posting to blog