The Fatty Blues

If someone says to you:
By having sex there is a good chance you will end up having to spend the better part of a year

-gaining loads of weight
-being REALLY gassy
-eating everything you come in contact with
-crying at the drop of a hat
-Laughing hysterically at inappropriate movies
-either completely uninterested in sex, or overly interested in sex
-swollen feet, ankles and sinuses
-avoiding alcohol, smokey rooms, loud music, and anything that requires you to stay up late
(which just happens to be where all your friends are)
-having to pass up your favorite foods
-getting stretch marks
-getting vericose veins
-worrying that you'll never be sexy again
-getting nose bleeds
-interminable headaches (for which you shouldn't take pain killers)
-shortness of breath
-aching back, neck, and every other part of your body
-long sleepless nights
-general discomfort
-being woozy
-being mean
-being either way hotter or way colder than everyone else in the room
-not fitting between the driver seat and the steering wheel of your car
-looking like a hippo
-having strangers touch you
-getting unwanted advice from complete morons and strangers and strange morons
-and worrying that you're doing it all wrong

Then all that will end with an episode of more pain than you could possibly ever imagine. You will be ripped in half starting with your vagina just to allow this little tyrant out into the world and then for the next six months you're going to have cracked, chapped, sore nipples and feel like a dairy cow and at any given point in the day be covered in shit, piss, sour milk, vomit, or otherwise... and then you will spend the rest of your life scared shitless for this little being...

Do you think it'd make a difference? You're right...probably not...

Ivillage Idiots

According to my "Pregnancy Calendar" on Ivillage.com my baby is the size of a gerbil.

WHY WOULD THEY COMPARE MY BABY TO A GERBIL?????!!!!!!!!

Tids and Bits

-As Jen reminded me it was Administrative Professionals Day or what was previously known as Secretarys' Day. Did you hug your secretary or personal assistant yesterday? You'd better do it now (make sure they aren't armed first). My boss, after i reminded her, bought be a gift certificate to target.

-Unique-Stephen (complete stranger) brought this to my attention which is absolutely marvelous and darned funny. Thank you US, and who are you and how did you find me?

-If anyone is interested this is where we're going to be having the baby. I know, I know having the being born in Pennsylvania does hinder the kid's coolness and good dental hygiene future, but at least I don't have to be afraid that they will cut off the kid's foreskin without my permission. Our next check-up is May 9th, I'll let you know if anything interesting happens.

-For all those of you who read this who may have to make the trek to come to our Wedding reception/ Baby shower/ Housewarming/ Welcome Home/ Stuff yourself stupid and give us a hug-shindig-- the plan is to go for late August to accomodate (see how much i love you) those who aren't able to make it in early and mid August (perhaps the 26th,27th)

-For all those of you who i have not formally invited or mentioned this to, consider yourselves all formally invited and informed. I will keep you posted.

-The Fairie Festival at Spoutwood Farms in Glenrock, PA is May 6&7 for those of you who would like to come and visit me, or hide behind the nearest tree and point and laugh.

-Our newest baby name choice for a boy is Aiden, any comments?

Hello Gas, Goodbye Savings

So I leave for work this morning, get to the gas station where it's a whopping $3.09/gallon and I think to myself oh, well the other day it was $3.01 at the gas station near work, I'll just go there. I get to the gas station by work and it's at $3.11. Meanwhile i'm on empty in my inherited stupid green sedan. I decide to bite the bullet and pay for at least some gas so I can at least get home and I realize I don't have my wallet.

(don't worry i'm not stranded, i borrowed some $ from a co-worker who i'll pay back tomorrow)

However, this little saga got me to thinking: How did gas prices go up 10 cents in less than two days. So i looked it up.

Turns out for the last three days the price of crude has reached increasing record highs and they predict it'll go up to $80 per barrel before the end of June!! (It's currently at $72, i think)

Also: Bush has halted the environmental law that was passed forcing gas refineries to mix gasoline with ethanol to reduce air and water pollution to try and reduce gas prices.

Also: The average retail price of gasoline nationwide is $2.80 a gallon, though stations are charging more than $3 a gallon in many parts of the country.

Excerpt from MSNBC article:

The biggest factor underpinning higher gasoline prices is the roughly 38 percent rise in crude oil costs over the past year. On an inflation-adjusted basis, oil prices would have to rise above $90 to exceed the all-time highs set a quarter century ago when supplies became tight in the aftermath of a revolution in Iran and a war between Iraq and Iran.
Analysts said the market psychology would likely remain bullish until there is either a significant dropoff in demand or resolution to a variety of geopolitical uncertainties, particularly the West’s nuclear dispute with Iran and output disruptions in Nigeria.
“The worries of Iran won’t go away any time soon, and in that sort of environment very few people are willing to be short on oil,” said Tobin Gorey, a commodities analyst with the Commonwealth Bank of Australia in Sydney.

Read more here

Knocked up update

14 weeks and 4 days knocked up.

Feeling good for the most part. The last two weeks I've felt like i'm getting bigger everyday, except no one but me can tell. I weighed myself at my grandmother's house (we don't have a scale) and I've gained 4.5 lbs so far.

I've had to borrow pants because my own are very tight these days. I did end up buying a few maternity things we'll see how far they get me.

This inbetween stage is the hardest I think. Feeling fat but not looking pregnant quite yet (at least not to strangers) and anticipating the rest of the pregnancy. I feel like it must get more fun somewhere along the way.

Shopaphobia

So it seems i have a severe fear of shopping. The only kind of shopping I actually enjoy is food shopping. Dont get me wrong. I am indeed in love with shoes and there's something about new clothes (new or new to me) that makes me excited to actually put on clothes in the morning, however, for the most part it is hell trying to get myself to go into a store.

Luckily enough (actually that's debatable since it makes it so easy) for me and those like me INTERNET SHOPPING exists.

So for the last couple of weeks, as i find my pants becoming tighter and tighter, I've been internet window shopping for maternity clothes. Unfortunately, I recently bought myself some new clothes for my office job (seeing as how all my college clothes were holey, dirty, stained, smudgy, a little too small, and weird). So, now comes the dilema (I also bought myself a giant rubber ball earlier this week to sit on at work) do I spend even MORE money on clothes (clothes that I will only end up wearing for the next few months) or do I stick it out for as long as i can and hope that my local Good Will has a few passable shirts?

(Basically i'm pleading for someone to help me justify a $73.00 purchase of a bella band, a long sleeve shirt, a polo shirt, a cute fancy shirt, and a bra which if it still fits when my milk comes in can be used as a nursing bra. I'm hoping the Bella Band will help me stay in my regular pants at least a couple more months)

My Belly and Boobs are Growing out of my clothes Wishlish

Not necessarily in order of appearance:

1. The Bella Band - for those of us who are too small for maternity clothes but too big for our own pants, and too cheap to go out and buy bigger pants.
2. Various t-shirts from American Apparel that seem as though they would work well for this inbetween phase and later for nursing etc.
3. a not so ugly hippo-suit. (I'm anticipating going to the ocean as much as possible this summer. I hear it's good for the baby, okay not true, but being in landlocked Arizona has made me ocean sick and after Sunday's brief romp on the sand I realized what i had been missing all these years)

Diary of a Pod

14 weeks. Feeling fat.

Post-Graduate Wasteland

If you go HERE you can see my hot and incredibly cool friends whom i don't deserve living it up.

I miss them.

I miss them so much i'm going to crawl under my desk and weep until lunch time at which point i will eat a burrito.

You think one New Castle would hurt the little one? just kidding.

Happy Easter Everyone

Things that Have Happened recently

1) My truck is up for sale (without the cap) on old York Rd in front of a friend's house.
2) i'm driving Ben's brother's stupid green dodge sedan that he sold to us for $100.00 when he left for the army a week and a half ago. I hate it.
3) We have cleaned out, and de-sided the Little House. It looks almost as bad as it ever will and we continue to find problems that will make this project that much more difficult and continue to be depressed about it while trying to make some leeway.
4) I am definitely getting fatter. I've officially gained 2.5 lbs and i'm all soft and doughy around the middle.
5) I contributed quite a bit to the RFP (request for funding proposal, ie: grant) that the company i work for has to do every eight years to get funding from the county to continue their noble work. And to say the least i'm damn glad it's over. We had three weeks to write a three inch proposal. :P
6) The weather is finally warming up more consistently, however, it's still fickle as all hell and was incredibly rainy and cold on saturday.
7) I am officially 12 weeks pregnant. Come this weekend it'll be goodbye first trimester!


That's about all i can come up with. Sorry it's not very witty or exciting. I'm feeling neither of those things right now mostly humdrum and a little anxious about the Little House... and antsy about living with my folks, most of the time it's pretty good, lately i've been feeling claustrophobic when it comes to the cabin and my folks... Maybe the time is coming to move to the Tee Pee...

Quick Update

I'm in the middle of writing a grant for work so I probably won't get a chance to actually update until tuesday or there abouts.

Church Mice

I found this article while in the process of checking my e-mail. This is very interesting.

All those who think that many Americans have a spending addiction raise your hand.

In anticipation of Ben, myself, and Lou all living off one meager income for 5+ years this article hits home. Now granted, I would sooner hurl myself into a pit of wrything crawly things than purchase pants for $117.00, however, what is it that i deem as a "necessity" that really isn't.

Honestly, how much can we do without? Will I die without q-tips? If Ben is forced to start buying Folgers instead of Avalon Organic will he eventually get used to it or will he hate me for not working every morning he pulls down that blue tin of sandy granules that turn his hot water slightly yellowish-brown?

Also to add my Idealism to the heap of random thoughts for the day:
Wouldn't it be nice if policy makers didn't HAVE to be the ones ensuring that our decisions as consumers were always environmentally, financially responsible purchases. Is it the government's job to save us from ourselves?

Despite the fact that i'm super excited about the Federal Government putting new gas mileage regulations on new cars, should they really have that power?? and if they do who's to say they can't keep us from choosing to have abortions, etc?

I realize those two things are very unrelated, but I guess i'm picking at that age old scab: If the government's job is to protect us, how far does it go? Should they be allowed to protect us from ourselves? Who are they to say what we need protecting from?

I really just don't know...

Heart of My Heart

So we went to Birth Care Midwife Center lastnight... oh it was awesome. It's a trailer in Pennsylvania... okay that's not quite true. And they're moving in the next month to a new location which is supposedly bigger AND they have birthing pools. But right now it looks like a trailer on a farm. But they are super awesome people. We got to hear the babys heart beat!!!

Here let me reenact the scene for you:

Jill the RN: now don't be dissapointed if we don't hear the heart beat, you're only 11 weeks along and it wouldn't be surprising if we didn't. okay?
Libby: Okay... But we're gunna try right.
Jill: Right
(Ben is sitting at the end of the table watching her squirt blue jelly on my tummy and feel around for the baby)

She takes the little sensor thinger and as soon as it touches my belly we hear *choo choo choo choo choo choo choo*

Jill: that's it that's the baby. Wow, that's a first. Usually we don't hear it right away. That is a good strong heart beat. Uh-oh, he's swimmin' away.
(we all hold our breath while she moves the sensor thing around a bit looking for the heart beat)

*choo choo choo choo choo choo choo choo* and in the background * wooooooosh..................... woooooooooooosh..........* (that's my heart beat) it sounds like a little tiny train driving along the beach (my heart beat being the ocean and the baby being the little train).

well i'm crying by this point or leaking at the eyes at least. And Ben is squeezing my hand...and there it is our little baby with it's super strong heart beat....



So on the ride home (it's an hour and a half from mom and dads) we drive right into an amazing thunderstorm and we're watching the big fat rain drops splatter everywhere and dodging the frogs in the road... and every couple of minutes one of us turns to the other and says "choo choo choo choo choo"

And we decide to start calling the baby Lou so as to not genderize it yet cause we inadvertantly keep saying "he"

Monday-ne!

I'm being really horrible and drinking hot chocolate, but i blame it on daylight savings.
I agree with Jen, Daylight savings sucks. I had to pinch myself to stay awake on the beltway this morning.

We started on the little house this weekend. I took a few pictures that i promise to post when i get my act together and get over to my Fatherinlaws in order to get the camera cable. It was quite a lot of work, and let me tell you I am a lucky, lucky girl to have Ben-The-Machine for a husband... well when it comes to hard labor that is... the boy is unreal!

So saturday and sunday found us covered in fiberglass insulation grossness and squirrel crap. I had to call it quits around 3pm both days because i couldn't stay awake any longer.

Today at 7 is our first baby check up with the ladies at Birth Care in Quarryville. I'll let you know how it goes, i'm hoping we'll get to hear the baby's heart beat.

Something Smells Good

The office is being permeated by someone's mocha coffee drink and it smells so good i could sniff it out and drink it for them.

List of Things I can't have:
Coffee and Caffinated things
Alcohol (even though my father-in-law swears up and down that a little wine is good for the blood and that gweneth paltrow or some tall blonde actor lady drank stout while she was pregnant because it's a good source of iron)
Cigarettes
Meat (mostly just cause it makes me nauseas, this kid might be a vegetarian)
too much sugar (according to "what to expect when you're expecting")
dairy (cause alergy season is coming up and it makes me super snotty, not cause the baby)

List of Things I can't do:
Wrestle
drive crazy
stay up past 9pm (mostly cause i'm incapable of it, this kid might also be a narcoleptic)
go running (cause when you get knocked up your boobs grow and grow and grow and hurt and hurt and hurt)
Be in situations that require me to have a whole lot of patience (maybe it's just an excuse, but since i found out i'm pregnant my fuse has been shortened to microscopic proportions and everyone has suddenly become an idiot--- sorry if i've lost my temper with anyone lately (poor Ben especially), i don't mean it at all, i'm just a nut job)
Watch/listen/talk about anyone killing or hurting babies (any kind of babies, if i see someone eating veal i'll probably start crying)
Go 20minutes without having to pee.

*Not one of you that reads this is pregnant, and i'm sure i'm boring the pants off of most of you. And... I am completely aware that since this whole thing started I haven't seemed to be able to talk about much more than the weird gross things that are happening to my body, how much i have to pee and babies. I would like to apologize to all of you. I'd also like to say, this isn't likely to stop any time soon.

Daylight Schmaylight

Guess what this weekend is, sunday to be exact... that's right Daylight savings time.

You know, in Arizona they don't believe in Daylight savings time... If i didn't know better i'd say Arizona really had their shit together... but in the end it's just the Daylight savings time thing they're right about.

So my fellow rest of the US excluding Arizona (which, ironically, is where most of my readers are) don't forget to set your clock forward saturday night before going to bed.

Is today Monday?

Today feels longer than the rest of the week put together.

Watching the News

I was watching the news this morning while eating my breakfast of brown rice, two fried eggs and fried plantains and as it would have it they did a piece on the new rage in births.

It seems that 10% of C-sections these days are for convenience NOT due to medical necesity. America has the highest rate of C-section births in the world.

They interviewed a woman who had all her children via C-section because she did not want to have trouble peeing after a vaginal birth!!!! She'd much rather have major abdominal surgery!!!! The really messed up thing is, SHE'S AN OB!!!!!!!!

I would just like to say: WHAT IN HOLY HELL IS THIS WORLD COMING TO????!!!!!!!!!

Women who stop their menstral cycle because it's an inconvenience. Women who SCHEDULE when their baby is born so that they don't have to deal with the inconvenience of labor and recovery.

THIS IS WHAT OUR BODIES WERE DESIGNED TO DO!!!!

oh... and just for the record there have been some (though not extensive) studies about children who were C-sections and children who were vaginal and how their birth effected them. They're may be a coorelation between C-sections and certain mental disabilities.... (again i don't know how reliable this is so don't quote me on it).

Perhaps i'm just so worked up about this because there's a little human inside me that will have to come out some day and I fully intend on doing it the best most natural way possible. As a mother nothing is convenient or about what's best or easiest for you, it's about that little person you hope beyond all hope will out live you.

Rowen,
I too am outraged, appalled, enraged, etc over this. Such utter crap! I am fucking proud and empowered to be female, to bleed, to be a woman, to be able to give life.

Our disconnection from ourselves is disgusting! I refuse to have any part of it!