spring spring spring spring spring...

spring.

anyone else experiencing animalistic responses to spring???

i'm starving.
lascivious.
loud.
barely contained.
hypomanic.
histrionic.
overly aggressive.

if i were a bird i'd be banging repeatedly into glass windows... as it is, i'm trying to breathe deeply.

seriously, someone may want to place bets on whether or not Ben is going to survive the season...
(sorry relatives who don't want to know that)

a trite summation of parenting by Libby Jones

You spend the first few years keeping them from killing themselves and each other by accident.

Then the next few years keeping them from killing each other on purpose.

Next you keep them from trying to kill themselves because they think they're invincible.

and then you keep them from killing themselves on purpose because they've just had kids of their own and they spend every minute of every day completely terrified.

A spring in his step!!!

HE'S WALKING!!!!!
HE'S WALKING!!!!
HE'S WALKING!!!!!!!!!

(cinematographic proof, coming soon!)

and in other news. i had my first acroyoga workshop last night and this morning i feel great. wide awake (sans coffee). strong. tall. and like someone dropped me out a four story window into an empty dumpster...

videos... videos... vid-E-yo's

budding romance...

Now that my kids have been free of contagious diseases for the better part of two weeks, we have begun leaving the house... more or less... more less than more but...

Yesterday found Esther at school and Asa and I wandering the streets of baltimore trying to pick up chicks. not true. Actually, we went to Terri's house and had a play date. Hannah is almost 7 months old. Asa is 13 months old. They are pretty much the same size. i know, i know, big surprise considering Asa's mother... but i have to tell you, it doesn't, on a regular basis, occur to me how small i am. I don't often see reflections of myself standing next to someone else and I'm rather used to craning my neck at a 90 degree angle to the rest of my body to talk to most folks. And while i know i'm short, and the scale in the bathroom refuses to show three digits (bragging? probably...), it's still rather surprising when evidence of my slightness becomes un-ignorable. such as in my lilliputian children amongst their peers.

Anyhow, here's the happy young couple (photos courtesy of Terri and stolen from her blog where they're much more artfully posted)

Asa being all "no. no. THIS is how you do it - it's called MASH all the buttons!"
Asa trying to determine how many teeth Hannah now has. And Hannah wondering why in the hell Asa won't get out of her face.
he's trying to be cool so she'll like him more.
ok, kudos to me and my child who likes to share.
and hug
and of course the "we weren't doing anything bad" faces...

Baby Bowling...

"Jerking him around" she says...

roller derby divine!

two of my bestest friends in the entire universe skate on roller derby teams in Atlanta. and aside from circus joining fantasy, my other one is running away to atlanta and skating with them. i found this website that makes up derby names for you... and oddly enough i found this one to be rather appropriate. so cheers to Agent Mauledher and Aeon Flex. my heros!


and here's hoping i can put this name to use someday... or at least pretend.

My brand-new Roller Derby Name is Baby Bloodvessel.
Take MIA PSYCHO'S ROLLER DERBY NAME GENERATOR today!
Created with Rum and Monkey's Name Generator Generator.

Living in a Snowglobe.

The snow has ceased to fall straight down and now swirls around going every which way. The mountains of snow left from the monster storms are slowly melting but still there's no end in sight.

On another note, my to-be-sister-in-law is teaching me static trapeze. Here are a couple of her performances. Though she usually does doubles, i'm just learning simple singles stuff.








so now i'm dreaming of running away to join the circus. Or maybe starting one of our own. Perhaps i could dress Asa up as a bear and give Esther a whip... it'd be perfect really.

my life in three videos...

Storm Large 8 Miles Wide... hilarious...

Wha Wha??

It's been blizzarding...
for almost a week...
we're buried...
it's taller than Esther...
and my daughter is a superhero. a very fast, very loud, very violent superhero...
who lives only on apples... without the skins...

she and her sidekick are addicted to juice...

naked suits...

buried alive...

i'd write more but we're buried under tons of snow...
can't get out to blog...
soooo cold...

oh spring, my spring. what a distant fantasy you are...

because i'm on a roll...

I wanted to share this oh-so-scary bear-like thing. This was given to her by the paramedics during the night she was transported via ambulance to the ER. Apparently the Lions club or some such group makes and donates them... but who in the hell was given the sharpie to draw on the eyebrows. What kid wouldn't be completely terrified by this face?? especially a kid who is already scared out of their head by having to ride in an ambulance??

just terrifying...

another of Esther's beautiful outfits. Note the eye mask worn around the torso. I though maybe she was wearing it as a bra but turns out it's a back brace like the kind daddy wears to work.
and this picture is to demonstrate just a small portion of the chaos and complete bedlam that is my house.

Heaven.

Heaven looks like this.

finally some pictures...

I couldn't help posting this perfect picture of Asa's hippo-teeth.
Our budding musician complete with her "tortured artist" face...


This picture doesn't quite capture it but he was trying like crazy to climb up the counter... thankfully he couldn't get a foot hold.
more hippo-teeth...
Esther's really awesome outfit. She dresses herself these days and i have to say, that alone is a reason to have kids. it's hilarious...

chicken counting...

i may be counting my unhatched chickens but i'm hoping we're hereby beginning a short reprieve from sickness and chaos here.

The kids are feeling much better, if a little tired and still a bit coughful and sneezy. Ben and I are working out our own mucus (he more than i, poor fella). Asa is still VERY clingy with me and for some reason fighting sleep though crazy-tired. But despite all that, we're doing WAAAAAY better than last week.

Something about having your kid flip into a seizure suddenly really sets you on edge. Especially if you don't know it's a seizure and are pretty sure that they aren't seizing but are DYING... takes some time to recover from that...

So.

Not much to note. Work is a bit hectic. We're starting out one of our locations on new software that we designed and had built. It's still full of little "hiccups" which i am figuring out how to work around or get fixed. It's tough because these are medical records and therefore held to high standards.

One week until my sister and brother-in-law come to visit for hog butchering weekend... and of course the hog butchering is coming up. Bacon holds a very special place in my heart probably second only to donuts (see what i mean about the 400lbs??? -- and now that Asa is moving more toward real food rather than milk my slight 93lbs is beginning it's steady and soon to be very fast climb toward 400lbs)

two weeks until Esther's scheduled weekend with Oma (which i have marked in my mind as Ben and my romantic weekend since we'll only have one kid. We set up babysitters for both fri and sat. i'm a'hopin to get me some! -- ok, so that's more than you wanted to know... but it's true so stop looking at me like that)

OH OH OH and (after some persuasion)i have decided to go dancing at least once a month and gain back some of my old self. (LAURA! are you listening?? DANCING. Glen Echo, Lovely Lane, anywhere you want girl. i got two itchy feet, old dancing shoes, and a lot of angst. let's dance!

update

we're doing better, or i should say the kids are... Esther is mostly back to her old self. Asa was awful yesterday. high fever and so pathetic as to break my heart and send me into hyper-aware/worried sick mode just waiting for him to seize or breathing to be labored... but after a horrendous night of walking around and around and praying both kids seem to be feeling much better if still slightly feverish and doped up on ibuprofen.

i, on the other hand, am still reeling in the after effects of it all and consequently, running very short on... just about everything... patience, time, sympathy, sleep, medicine,affection,... i've been eying that bottle of wine since 9:30 this morning. alcoholism here i come.

ang-grrrrr

i've been oscillating all day between feeling relieved that every things going to be fine and angry with myself, circumstances, how things played out (though, honestly they really did play out the best possible way they could have...)

i'm just so done with the kids being sick. We've had more sickness pass through this house this year than the rest of my life put together. We are doing every preventative thing we know to do...

i'm done. so very very very freakin' done with all this... if i could roll over and give in, toss in my chips, anything... i would.

i'm exhausted. i'm feeling victimized by our own cluelessness, stupidity, and helplessness. i want to curl up into a little ball and let someone else be the mama for a little while. vacation from being me.

has anyone ever died of worrying too much?

Asa is now running a fever. children's motrin for everyone... maybe we should buy stock...