Big girl

Stop looking at my dinner like that!

Am I eating a pan of meatballs with hot sauce and white wine for dinner??? YES I AM! (oh shut up, it's free range!)

Libby vs insomnia

And here we are again... Insomnia.
Ben took the kids this morning at 5am down to the eastern shore with his sister to visit their mom. I'm working the fairie festival all weekend and have to stay here.

And though, after a very long day of festival work, and despite being exhausted... I cannot sleep. I cannot turn off my brain. And there are other people sleeping in my house so I can't even watch movies or make tea or the like...

I don't understand this insanity of mine. My brain is constantly on overdrive. Over-anxious, over-emotional, over-stressed, over-guilty...

And I have an upset stomach. It's possibly a side effect of the anxiety of being away from ben and the little ones... But could also be the crap-load of junkfood I had for dinner.

So what now?

Sent from my iPhone

Can't buy me love... but he can buy me new chickens!

Ok. so i weeped...  and tried to be good and not whine, not blame, and not be a total bitch. And it must have worked because after an appropriate grieving period of 24 hours, Ben went to the O'Niel farm and bought three more hens and a rooster.

We now have, in addition to our two surviving Golden Wyandottes:
a Rhode Island Red (hen) -- her name is Foxy
a Plymouth Rock (hen)- i think? -- her name is Sylvia
an Ameraucana (hen) - i think?, she lays green eggs and has a beard -- her name is Bernadette the bearded lady
and I think our rooster is a Silver Laced Wyandotte -- His name is Sergeant York (or Yolk, depending on how punny you feel)

and yeesh is the Sergeant ever a loud bugger!

i'll post pics when i get some good ones.

Asa, My Kitchen Aid!

Yes, it's true. My small lad has inherited my penchant for knives... he likes to help me in the kitchen when chopping vegetables. So lately i've been giving him a butter knife (the non-serrated kind) and canned kidney beans. 

*sigh* ... apple< tree.

Asa Health Update (or How to Fatten up Your Kid)

So, i don't think i wrote anything about our visit with the Endocrinologist. We took Asa to see an Endocrinologist in a huge building in the city (part of the university i think).  Anyhow, he's too small... He's not on the chart. And yes, i am small, and yes he will be a small adult... but i guess he's still TOO small...

After a very long and stressful conversation with the endocrinologist (stressful because Ben can be... um...very... um...forceful when speaking with healthcare professionals) she ordered a chloride sweat test to be done to check for cystic fibrosis.  We're going back to the huge and insane building in downtown baltimore tomorrow for that test.  She also ordered some blood work to be done but not until July for some reason. In the mean time, we're supposed to be feeding him pediasure.  

Now, you all know me and my insane ideas about nutrition and what not. And my insane need to make my life more complicated than it already is... and my desire to do the complete opposite from what i am told... 

That said, i'm attempting to fatten up my boy (and girl too because we simply must be fair) with my own high calorie smoothie thingies.

Every morning (which now start at 6am) i get up and make said shakes.  Recipe:

1 cup Amazake (200 calories per 8oz)
1 cup high calorie plain greek yogurt (this one is 290 calories per 8oz)

1 tblspn agave nectar

enough frozen organic fruit of your choosing to fill the rest of the magic bullet container

If i call it a "milk shake" and tell them that it's bad for them they'll drink it. ;)

Fairie Festival

It's sneaking up on us... i'm not ready...
anyone coming? April 29-May1.
go to www.spoutwood.org/fairie-festival for more info...

weeping on the way to work...

something got four of our six chickens... we have two survivors...

Spring evenings

Sometimes I actually dread the evenings. The hustle and hassle of getting the kids to eat (nothing short of sitting on them and shoveling it in seems to work), cleaning up the related mess, bathing the kids (repeatedly dunking them in water until my ears are bleeding from the whining and crying), cleaning up the related mess, and putting them to sleep (also requires sitting on them)... But of late I've somehow, through nagging; cajoling; finagling; and favor promising gotten Ben into playing nightly games of chess.

Now, it's important to note here that I am distinctly NOT good at chess. I just happen to like it. I'm not exactly sure why I like it though. While playing, I can often be found tearing my hair our, breathing heavily through flared nostrils, and/or being extremely twitchy.

But I love it. And I get to play it. And it's awesome. Then we watch a couple episodes of The Mighty Boosh drink a beer or some wine and fall asleep peacefully.

Sent from my iPhone

Apathetic Week.

That's right folks! This week is Apathy Awareness week! Are you aware of your own apathy? i sure am.

Well at least when it comes to work anyhow. It's not that i'm not working, because i definitely am working. I am working my tail off... it's just that i don't seem to care any more. Which, when you work for a nonprofit that specializes in a historically under funded field, caring is about all you have going for you. Caring for the people you're helping, caring about the programs and projects and your co-workers... it is, after all, a cause.

But quite frankly, i don't care right now. I'm sure i'll care again some day... maybe tomorrow.  But for today, i keep casting longing glances over my shoulder and out the window into the hot and bright spring day on the other side... taunting me... sneering and jeering at my inability to enjoy it. stupid day...

I think we should have "sun days" like "snow days" - we should be able to cut out of work early on days as beautiful as today. what is wrong with our society??

Narcissistic me

Anyone else ever use a company called photoworks?  I used to use it a long time ago, ya know back when film cameras existed... anyhow, they're closing and all the digital photos they had stored for me needed to be transfered, and i forgot about most of these photos... anyhow... i found a bunch, and because i'm always a little uncomfortable sharing pics of other people without their permission (minus ben and the babies), here's a bunch of pictures of me... from january 2003... 

This is pretty awesome... (yes, another cop out cause i'm busy and i'm cold)

As Seen on Facebook

ok, so i totally realize that this is cheating. BUT, since some of you maybe, possibly, don't keep up with facebook and all it's horrors here's a bunch of photos i probably posted on facebook once upon a time. 

I also realized that i didn't mention on here (at least i don't think i did??) that we cut Esther's hair short. It was driving her crazy for a while and said she wanted it very short so we complied. And she's super adores-able.

Anyhow, here's a bunch of photos to keep you in the loop more or less until i can get my act together enough to write a decent post and keep up with the blog.

apology...

i just wanted to apologize for being so MIA these days. As we all know (because i've stated it innumerable times) March = not good... so i've been plugging along working a lot... and waiting as patiently as i possibly can (which isn't much) for spring.

spring is peeking up all over these last couple weeks though. And though i'm as bipolar as the weather, things are beginning to be a bit more promising. The kids are now going to bed at 8 rather than 7 since daylight savings (i refuse to acclimate them to the new time so shoot me) which opens up a wealth of social possibilities. Namely, we're starting up our weekly dinners with j&i again (sooooooo happy about this!). In light of my increasing lack of creativity, and busy schedules, and because they're driving to us every week so we can put the kiddos down to sleep and still hang with them after - we're implementing Fiesta Fridays!! (consisting of mexican cuisine - or as close to it as i can come-, and tequila... or not...)

Let's see... anything else new? not really... trying to prepare stock for our booth at fairie festival but also not really getting anything done, anxious for ben and my baby free get away april 17-18 (we're spending the night at a b&b in federal hill), and other than that working working working.

OH and my new 5 year plan has us moving to Africa in 3 years for a year or so...

Happy Heart

So, Asa's heart murmur is what they call innocent or functional. His heart is strong. He does not need to have antibiotic treatments or avoid activities. He will not need blood thinners or anything like that. He is a healthy wee man.

We have an appointment with a pediatric endocrinologist april 4th because he's so very small. We'll let you know how that goes.  Our pediatrician did call us with the blood test results and x-ray results and so far everything looks fine. No thyroid problems or anything like that. His skeletal age is 15 months. And though i read all about it on wikipedia i'm not sure i fully understand skeletal age vs. true age. It sounds like having a younger skeletal age means he will grow for longer so could potentially catch up to his peers by adulthood, but i'm not entirely sure.

Anyhow, we're breathing easier knowing he has a good heart.

however, i hate march. and we all have colds. COME ON APRIL!!!!

Cardboard and duct tape...

Poor kid