I've been Tagged.

Does that mean I'm it? Are they doing it?

Actually I've been tagged by Seeks and now have to list 20 random things about myself.
1. I have to go to yoga in less than an hour.
2. My husband, good ole' Benny-boy is sick...
3. ...and as cute and sad as that is he kept me awake all night with his coughing and snoring. I do feel bad for him, but i'm also embarassed to say a little annoyed.
4. I spent the weekend writing rejection letters for those who submitted their written work to Alligator Juniper (Literary Journal).
5. I went and played with pre-k kids today at Primavera school. (one asked me if i was 50 years old, hehehe.)
6. I usually neglect to fill up my gas tank until the red light goes on.
7. I too am 3/8 filipino.
8. I'm moving away from my home (of the last three years) back to my home town, Bmore.
9. When I was eight years old I used to practice saying the alphabet backwards to impress people. (yes I still remember how).
10. I don't weigh enough to give blood. (I might be bragging, I'm not sure).
11. Sometimes I actively spy on my neighbors
12. I am working on a 200 page manuscript. Trying to write a books is hard.
13. My favorite band of the week is Belle and Sebastian
14. I lost my Spinto Band cd
15. I don't have any place to live or job prospects in Baltimore (where we're moving in six weeks).
16. I know Sam Reed.
17. I stopped by Target last week to get one of those packets of white hanes t-shirts for little boys and the computers were down so some lady gave me a $3.00 coupon and told me to come back another day. Why didn't they just lock their doors?
18. I have been thinking about applying to the Teach For America program.
19. With out my calendar i'd be lost!
20. My hair always looks funny, it's in that awkward growing out phase -- i'm trying to look as though i did it on purpose.

I'm supposed to tag 5 people after this. But I'm not sure i know 5 people. I'll start with tagging Becky

Halloween Party

Halloweenie

HAPPY HALLOWEENIE

Neck of the girl who bit you.

Seriously, my neck is creeping me out. Especially the one where i'm picking up the guitar. Weird!

Hypochondriac

Turns out when i get stressed i'm a total hypochondriac. In the middle of a meeting last week the right side of my jaw started to hurt pretty bad and that night while i was brushing me teeth it looked like there was a crack down the middle of my molar. Turns out it's fine, no crack. I went to a very sweet dentist who was very sensitive to my anxiety around people sticking things in my mouth. We chatted and i don't floss enough but apparently i have "very healthy, good lookin' teeth."

So cheers!

Firstly: In Response to all of you who commented on last weeks entry.
I would like to say that there is no point. For the most part i am having fun. I love arizona, i love rock climbing, learning things, reading lots, etc. I would also like to point out that no one ever said that college was just for those who wanted some money making career. I fully, and always have, intended to be poor. I just sometimes forget that it's not about graduating, or getting a job. Sometimes i let all the crap that's put on us by the place we live seep in and that's alright.

Secondly: West, Heidi and I started a band. We are a sucky version of chick rock and like to butcher Veruca Salt covers. It's the greatest thing ever though. I couldn't ask for a better way to start my thursday nights.

To Quote Ian

To quote Ian who is indeed, and as always right in these philosophical ponderings, "Fuck Graduating." That's right fuck it up it's stupid ass.

I don't know what the big hang up is anyhow... I've been at this for what, seven years now? Well ok, only three actually, or dedicatedly. Look at my fancinatingly handsome husband, he made it through all of half of a semester of high school and called it quits, now look at him go. I should have taken my lentils from him since the start. Unfortunately, something about school makes me feel like i'm getting some where. It's like putting a large screen television with a looped production of unending roads in front of a stationary cyclist. I know it's a fraud. I know that the number of Sam Reeds in this world are limited and that i am indeed not one. But then again, who really wants to be one of forty elves in a hot tub anyhow?

In the mean time... i while away the hours between classes wishing for inspiration or to be possessed by whatever spirit will stop the apathy and make my doldrum fingers pick up a goddamned pen (metaphor for start writing, which i use the computer for, not a pen).

But when this is all over (in three months) i will undoubtled drop the mortarboard and pick up the bonnet. It is to home with me, back to the kitchens like in 1945. Watch me go. Barefoot and knocked up here i come!!

fall slump

I've been oddly depressed for the last four days or so. It's been getting better since yesterday, but it was pretty bad for a bit. I just can't seem to want to do anything. I'm cynical and angry and full of contempt for everything.
Yesterday i decided to take the bull by the ... and i started cleaning the house. I didn't clean clean, I dug into those little piles of things that i am too lazy to put away otherwise. My front hall is now full of things to give away. The pile is going to grow too. I've decided to start going through all the closests and nooks and what not and chuck stuff. It's hard to know what to chuck since i may (This is a picture from our camping trip) need some of it before we leave here....

So. It's the first day of quarter classes i have class at 1030. It's called Life Cycle Development. It's a psyc type course. I wish i could drop it but apparently it's required for me to graduate. This is when it starts. It's just a small hiccup in my stomach but it grows and grows and grows and then i don't have any more time, or humor left.

Oh Yay!

This week is student directed days (ie a short break between block and quarter). So Ben and i are loading up the truck, driving off into the mountains and camping out in the aspen groves up north. Yeah!
I'm gunna burst my buttons i'm so excited!

Oh. Also i made bread the other day. First time i've ever made bread without my mama there to guide me. Oh i feel so grown up. Turned out well too. Good stuff. Whole wheat farm bread made with organic apple sauce. mmm mmm.

Elephant Knees

Ever since i was a child i drew on myself. To this day i can not stop. The tattoos didn't help either.
I miss baltimore. I want a real fall... next year i guess, next year... it just feels so far away... so much to do between now and then.

a bald new land

Ben found the clippers and gave himself a hair cut yesterday. I have two words: Velcro Shoes.

Oh the first day of school. Nerves, nerves, nerves. Am i going to make new friends... enemies. Will that kid figure out that the slimy stuff in his mailbox last year was placed there by yours truly, will he think it wasn't funny?

I wish my hair would lay down, it's so damned fluffy. I may actually have to pay for a hair cut. None of my friends actually feel comfortable with a pair of scissors in their hands... course they're all alcoholics. Would you want a drunk person weilding scissors near your head??!! Ok, i lied, they're not alcoholics but they don't really wanna cut my hair. Jes, member da good ole' days when we would just cut each other's hair?

So, today it begins. The daily grind that is to continue from now until we pack up the last of our possessions in our little white pick-ups and head east... for good...

Can you tell all i really think about is moving home? ok. here we go. i'm gunna suck it up and go put on pants.

My New Shoes

I got a second job. Well okay, you got me, it's not really work. I'm nannying for two of my professors children two or three afternoons a week. The youngest is two years old. Her name is Paloma and she has an abnormally huge head, it's bigger than mine. She's way cute and is very good at head butting things. The boy, Walker is six and he's cute and very very smart. They are both so articulate and funny. They also like to wrestle. How cool is that!?

I start classes on Tuesday and i'm already dreading it. I mean, it's going to be great and very intense. I don't know how well i'm going to do with this. I'm going to be writing my first book, teaching at Juvie, taking classes and working two jobs as well as attempting to do my regular volunteer work with V-day stuff, art club, and the Walrus. sheesh. Sometimes i think i've been blessed with a disease that forces me to bite off more than i can chew.
However, I'm trying as hard as i can not think about it. I've decided that it's the thinking about it that is the real stresser. If i just don't think about it and do it i realize i'm a lot less stressy.

For now, Ben's coming home in ten minutes and he's taking me out to buy some new shoes for my birthday. I need a pair of shoes i can skate in, my old ones died. Well, okay, you got me again, i suck at skating but i think i have another disease on top of my biting-off-more-than-i-can-chew one, this one is called the really-likes-to-beat-herself-up-via-falling-off-things.

Missing This Town

I think i'm going to miss this town when it's time to go. As small and cramped, and over-priced as it's becoming there are some phenomenally cool people here: The Lesbian Action Team, Alain- the French baker who gives me free pastries because he's sweet, the Climber jocks who are silly but nonetheless very generous, of course Mike - my second favorite blacksmith, the old bicycle guy who wears an apron and fixes my bike every time i eat it, the librarian down the street, Sam Henry who knows everything, The Dinner Bell - Best biscuits and gravies...

sigh. it's going to be hard going back to Baltimore. However, it will be worth it... my sica is there -- and she i miss.

Re-Entry

Man is it ever hard to come back to everyday life. I've been wondering what's wrong with me for days and just lastnight in a fit it occurred to me it's post field depression. After almost three months of backpacking, kayaking, hiking, bird watching, exploring post-glacial landscapes -- it's really hard to drive a car in a crowded town, to go back to work, to smile at people you'd rather throw ketchup at. The mail is here. I don't get anything but bills, still i love the mail.