how i feel...

Count Down

The count down has begun. 2 and a 1/2 more weeks until graduation. 19 days until we begin the three day drive home.

Things i still have to do:
1. finish this first big revision on manuscript
2. finish reading "primal teen" the psych book for my human development class
3. throw together a presentation for human development class
4. write two short responses for the southwest writer's series readings.
5. write a paper for human development class, i don't know when this is due or what it's even on, just that it was in the syllabus.
6. place facilities request for senior show.
7. final revision, layout, print, and bind manuscript (decide how many copies there needs to be).
8. Write a speech for baccalaureate. (As if i didn't have enough to do i have been chosen to present at baccalaureate, for those of you who don't know what that is, it's basically like being valedictorian for your area of study only instead of being based on grades since this is a non-grade based school it's based on your teachers' assesment of you)
9. find a decent opening joke for my reading on the 15th.
10. Write a short speech for the graduation ceremony thanking everyone.


Things that are making my life difficult:
1. We don't really have any money and basically our whole move home and Christmas is a credit card supported endeavor.
2. We still have WAY too much packing to do.
3. My hair is ugly
4. We have to take the cars in to be checked up and what not and that'll also cost time and money.
5. Since we don't have any money everyone is getting Christmas Cards from us this year instead of presents.
6. I can't seem to sleep.
7. We have no junk food in the house it's all brown rice and bulgar wheat...
8. My allergies are driving me nuts. I guess the juniper has decided to have one last hurrah before winter sets in.

I'm sure there's more but it's making me depressed just thinking about it. I guess I'd better get to work. I have plenty to do.

I miss everyone and can't wait to be home, hopefully no one will mind that we are so freakin' poor.

Happy Opening Day Everyone!!!!!

2 years Nov. 28th

The happy couple will have been legally married for
two years on the 28th of Nov., 3 years illegally on Jan 1st
and will have been together for 5 years in may or something like that...

We're such goons.

i think i need a haircut

I Want!!!!!!!

Why can't this be for sale in Parkton??

The Cover of my Book

My Beautiful Quiche

I've been Tagged.

Does that mean I'm it? Are they doing it?

Actually I've been tagged by Seeks and now have to list 20 random things about myself.
1. I have to go to yoga in less than an hour.
2. My husband, good ole' Benny-boy is sick...
3. ...and as cute and sad as that is he kept me awake all night with his coughing and snoring. I do feel bad for him, but i'm also embarassed to say a little annoyed.
4. I spent the weekend writing rejection letters for those who submitted their written work to Alligator Juniper (Literary Journal).
5. I went and played with pre-k kids today at Primavera school. (one asked me if i was 50 years old, hehehe.)
6. I usually neglect to fill up my gas tank until the red light goes on.
7. I too am 3/8 filipino.
8. I'm moving away from my home (of the last three years) back to my home town, Bmore.
9. When I was eight years old I used to practice saying the alphabet backwards to impress people. (yes I still remember how).
10. I don't weigh enough to give blood. (I might be bragging, I'm not sure).
11. Sometimes I actively spy on my neighbors
12. I am working on a 200 page manuscript. Trying to write a books is hard.
13. My favorite band of the week is Belle and Sebastian
14. I lost my Spinto Band cd
15. I don't have any place to live or job prospects in Baltimore (where we're moving in six weeks).
16. I know Sam Reed.
17. I stopped by Target last week to get one of those packets of white hanes t-shirts for little boys and the computers were down so some lady gave me a $3.00 coupon and told me to come back another day. Why didn't they just lock their doors?
18. I have been thinking about applying to the Teach For America program.
19. With out my calendar i'd be lost!
20. My hair always looks funny, it's in that awkward growing out phase -- i'm trying to look as though i did it on purpose.

I'm supposed to tag 5 people after this. But I'm not sure i know 5 people. I'll start with tagging Becky

Halloween Party

Halloweenie

HAPPY HALLOWEENIE

Neck of the girl who bit you.

Seriously, my neck is creeping me out. Especially the one where i'm picking up the guitar. Weird!

Hypochondriac

Turns out when i get stressed i'm a total hypochondriac. In the middle of a meeting last week the right side of my jaw started to hurt pretty bad and that night while i was brushing me teeth it looked like there was a crack down the middle of my molar. Turns out it's fine, no crack. I went to a very sweet dentist who was very sensitive to my anxiety around people sticking things in my mouth. We chatted and i don't floss enough but apparently i have "very healthy, good lookin' teeth."

So cheers!

Firstly: In Response to all of you who commented on last weeks entry.
I would like to say that there is no point. For the most part i am having fun. I love arizona, i love rock climbing, learning things, reading lots, etc. I would also like to point out that no one ever said that college was just for those who wanted some money making career. I fully, and always have, intended to be poor. I just sometimes forget that it's not about graduating, or getting a job. Sometimes i let all the crap that's put on us by the place we live seep in and that's alright.

Secondly: West, Heidi and I started a band. We are a sucky version of chick rock and like to butcher Veruca Salt covers. It's the greatest thing ever though. I couldn't ask for a better way to start my thursday nights.

To Quote Ian

To quote Ian who is indeed, and as always right in these philosophical ponderings, "Fuck Graduating." That's right fuck it up it's stupid ass.

I don't know what the big hang up is anyhow... I've been at this for what, seven years now? Well ok, only three actually, or dedicatedly. Look at my fancinatingly handsome husband, he made it through all of half of a semester of high school and called it quits, now look at him go. I should have taken my lentils from him since the start. Unfortunately, something about school makes me feel like i'm getting some where. It's like putting a large screen television with a looped production of unending roads in front of a stationary cyclist. I know it's a fraud. I know that the number of Sam Reeds in this world are limited and that i am indeed not one. But then again, who really wants to be one of forty elves in a hot tub anyhow?

In the mean time... i while away the hours between classes wishing for inspiration or to be possessed by whatever spirit will stop the apathy and make my doldrum fingers pick up a goddamned pen (metaphor for start writing, which i use the computer for, not a pen).

But when this is all over (in three months) i will undoubtled drop the mortarboard and pick up the bonnet. It is to home with me, back to the kitchens like in 1945. Watch me go. Barefoot and knocked up here i come!!

fall slump

I've been oddly depressed for the last four days or so. It's been getting better since yesterday, but it was pretty bad for a bit. I just can't seem to want to do anything. I'm cynical and angry and full of contempt for everything.
Yesterday i decided to take the bull by the ... and i started cleaning the house. I didn't clean clean, I dug into those little piles of things that i am too lazy to put away otherwise. My front hall is now full of things to give away. The pile is going to grow too. I've decided to start going through all the closests and nooks and what not and chuck stuff. It's hard to know what to chuck since i may (This is a picture from our camping trip) need some of it before we leave here....

So. It's the first day of quarter classes i have class at 1030. It's called Life Cycle Development. It's a psyc type course. I wish i could drop it but apparently it's required for me to graduate. This is when it starts. It's just a small hiccup in my stomach but it grows and grows and grows and then i don't have any more time, or humor left.

Oh Yay!

This week is student directed days (ie a short break between block and quarter). So Ben and i are loading up the truck, driving off into the mountains and camping out in the aspen groves up north. Yeah!
I'm gunna burst my buttons i'm so excited!

Oh. Also i made bread the other day. First time i've ever made bread without my mama there to guide me. Oh i feel so grown up. Turned out well too. Good stuff. Whole wheat farm bread made with organic apple sauce. mmm mmm.

Elephant Knees

Ever since i was a child i drew on myself. To this day i can not stop. The tattoos didn't help either.
I miss baltimore. I want a real fall... next year i guess, next year... it just feels so far away... so much to do between now and then.

a bald new land

Ben found the clippers and gave himself a hair cut yesterday. I have two words: Velcro Shoes.

Oh the first day of school. Nerves, nerves, nerves. Am i going to make new friends... enemies. Will that kid figure out that the slimy stuff in his mailbox last year was placed there by yours truly, will he think it wasn't funny?

I wish my hair would lay down, it's so damned fluffy. I may actually have to pay for a hair cut. None of my friends actually feel comfortable with a pair of scissors in their hands... course they're all alcoholics. Would you want a drunk person weilding scissors near your head??!! Ok, i lied, they're not alcoholics but they don't really wanna cut my hair. Jes, member da good ole' days when we would just cut each other's hair?

So, today it begins. The daily grind that is to continue from now until we pack up the last of our possessions in our little white pick-ups and head east... for good...

Can you tell all i really think about is moving home? ok. here we go. i'm gunna suck it up and go put on pants.