More on Christmas, but the excitement of the day

Just a couple pictures of our early morning festivities at my parents' house.

My brother, Jeremiah and Cecelia
My Dad, the only one who looks truly awake in all these pictures, notice he he's also the only one holding a mug of coffee.... hrmmmm.
Esther making "mean face" and my soon to be brudda-in-law, Andrew... aka: Badu.
This is me catching the christmas tree as it fell over almost smushing Esther. Although, she was the one pulling on it... we had to wire it to a nail in the wall after this point.
And the Christmas litter... not referring to Esther of course, simply the wrappings that she is making her way though.

There will be more pictures to follow but these are the ones of my camera, which had a full card (oops!) Also, there aren't any pics of Casey or my mom. So those will hopefully be in the next batch.

Hope everyone had wonderful holidays and is recovering nicely.

For West - Cause we love her!!!! and SHE LOVES US!!!

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you...

Esther has a new best friend:

Snow White goes hunting?

Okay some i'm running out of creative ideas for titles of posts... what can i say... the holidays are sucking the life and money right out of me...

Word of the Year

Locavore

Hunting Baby

Poor Esther and her parent induced gender confusion...

Our IV Wedding Anniversary. *cutesie vomit warning*

copied and pasted from an e-mail i sent my friend (hi jodi!!) this morning:


It was our 4th anniversary yesterday. We went to Petite Louis, a French bistro in Roland Park.

I had been bugging him for 3 days asking him what he got me for our anniversary. And he kept putting me off. I gave him his presents the night before in hopes of getting my own early but alas, he told me I had to wait until our dinner.

So we get there and he sneakily retrieves a package from the back of the car. It's about the length and width of a postcard and about 3 inches deep. As we walk into the restaurant I beg him to let me open it he says no. He puts it on the table between us and every 8 minutes or so throughout or meal I ask if I can open it now.

Well just after we order dessert he says I can open it.

It is a box full of mother of pearl buttons with a velvet jewelry box in the middle. (Now I should explain here that when we were in high school I always had a spare button or six in my pocket and when we dated in high school any time I passed him in the halls I would hand him a button. Quirky - I know... I don't know why I did that). Many years later when we reconnected he bought me a jar of buttons from an antique store and so they have become a thing with us.

Anyway, I open the velvet box and it's a gold ring with a beautiful pearl. Ben takes the ring out, gets down on his knees in the restaurant and says, "The last 4 years with you have been amazing. This is the engagement ring I never got you. The pearl is because I know you love them and because of how much we both love the ocean. Will you please promise me again to be with me for the rest of our lives?"

Our dessert arrived with two glasses of champagne on the house.
Then he kept saying sweet things the rest of the evening like "I know this has been our hardest year yet and I know we've been bickering a lot but I wanted to tell you that I love that we fight and it only strengthens our relationship...." and he goes on to tell me what a wonderful mother I am...

I got all gooey and soft and smooshy and was completely embarrassed by how much i thoroughly enjoyed the moment.

November is over so here's what happened.

I haven't posted anything decent in a long time so let me catch you up during this lull.

On the 9th-11th of November j&i came with us to Pittsburgh to visit my sistaw and my goddaughter (and good friend, Kali). Aside from the atrocious drive there (I blame myself) it was a good trip. Esther made instant friends with Kit-Ten and proceeded to wrestle and put her in a head lock every chance possible. My allergies stayed relatively at bay until the last day there when they kicked into full gear. We went to the handmade arcade which was pretty neat. Lots of Etsy participants were selling their wares. We did our christmas shopping. Casey and Kali were as gracious hosts as they could be to 5 people intruding on their space (granted they got a lot of space)... and i forgot to take pictures...

On the 17th and 18th 3 pigs were slaughtered and butchered in the wood shop. They are currently residing in freezers all over the county, one of which is ours. poor pigs. yay us. yay organic meat, yay knowing where your food comes from.

We spent thanksgiving with Ben's mom (Hi Oma!). It was a glorious feast. Ben's sister and her fiance (hi Jes and Eric!) brought Mercury (their tiny-faced, gravity defying sweetheart of a dog) who followed Esther around because she left a trail of crumbs behind her everywhere she went. Aside from gnawing on slightly stale bread, Esther was quite taken with the 'ish (fish) and would lead anyone in arms distance over to the fish tank and then pat her chest and say 'ep (help) meaning "can you please lift me up so i can poke at the glass and eventually try to climb in the fish tank to be with those oh-so-interesting bug-eyed little fellas."

Opening day was last saturday. Opening day is a pretty big event here in Redneck-ville. While the majority of my family did, we did not participate except later that night when Ben assisted in hosing out and hanging up the 5 deer that were shot and pulled from the family farm and he did go out Wednesday at 4:30am...My brother (hi-ya Miah!) came into town for the weeks-worth of hunting.



And then: There's our anniversary!!!!!!!!!! (see next post)

I'm sorry...

I'm sorry i don't post anything worth while these days just a lot of pictures of Esther, which are of course, worth while but not necessarily substantial evidence of what my life is like these days.

Work has me very very busy and less inclined to spend any time on the computer other than when i'm forced to.

Also, the holidays are here and wreaking havoc on my life... That said, i can't wait to see many of you this coming holiday season.

More pictures of Esther...


Esther trying to eat the coat hanger she stole from her Daddy.Esther trying to get the finger puppet to stay on her little fingers.



And my newest Mommy Heart breaking moment:

me to esther: I love you
esther to me: I Vuv Vu

and then she kisses/head butts me.
and then i melted into a big old puddle of dumbfounded and overjoyed and completely in love!


AND...

She calls the guy who stocks the health food isles at the grocery store "DUCK!"

She's growing up too fast...

Pictures from Oma's Visit

Letter to Esther - October 28th, 2007 9:15pm

October 28, 2007

Dear Esther,

Today you turned one year old. It’s been a very crazy year. I remember your birth as though it was an hour ago… well maybe not that well, or maybe so given that my short term memory is crap.

I am so glad I had you. You have been the most amazing blessing in my life. You have taken me to the very edges of who I am and beyond. You have forced me to grow in ways that I didn’t know people could. You have challenged me in every way possible and yet despite all the demanding you have encouraged me every step with your little grins and giggles and your wanting me above everyone else. I did not know that people could love the way you have made me love not just you but your daddy too.

Your daddy is an amazing man. He was there every step of your birth, all three days he was by my side waiting and watching, encouraging, loving, anxious, worried. Your birth was the first time I saw your dad cry, both while I was in labor and after you were born he would just look at you transfixed by how beautiful, perfect and small you were.

We had a big birthday party for you today. There must have been at least 50 people here during the course of the day. All of them with little gifts for you and wanting to hug you and show you things and get you to play with them. It was pretty amazing. The baby shower that we had before you were born was similar, lots and lots of people came. Everyone anxious to see you out in the world, embodied as a physical being that the could squeeze and smooch. You sure are one loved little girl!

But above all, I love you. I love you deeper than any love I have ever known. You are an incredible person. You are very, very smart. You have had a whole year of firsts, the first time you smiled, laughed, stood, walked, said “ah-choo” and “duck.” It has been a year of firsts for your daddy and me as well. The first time you kept us up from dusk till down crying like you were in too much pain to bear. The first time you slept through the night. The first day my milk came in, and the first day you ate baby food, and then solid food. The first time we ever felt bigger than the whole universe.

I feel so unworthy of you sometimes. As though my faults and all my cluelessness about being a mother will lead us all astray some day. I worry incessantly and then worry that all my worrying will make you as up tight and anxious as I am. I worry that I put too much pressure on you to be as intelligent as I think you are. And you, my perfect, beautiful, gifted, gorgeous, amazing little one, are just you. You babble a mile a minute. You are curious about everything and have such an appetite for the world that I know no one and nothing could stand in your way ever. Your will is so stout that nothing would dare.

In short, my daughter, those two sleepless nights and three long days were worth it. I would have done six or even a month of labor to have you in my life. I love you more than I will ever be able to express. I hope that during the course of your life you will always know that, even if it is only a fraction of what I truly feel.

Love,

Mama.

One Year Ago Today

Esther's 1st birthday is this Sunday so as a quick recap:

I went into labor on the 25th (a year ago today) around late morning. It was slow and the contractions weren't bad so we waited out the day watching movies and taking walks. That night around dinner time i called the midwife and told her what was going on. She said that if no changes happen in another hour to call her back and we would make a plan. There was no change so we called her and decided to make our way to the birth center (2 hour drive). We took our time and got there around 9pm. That night Ben and I slept in the birth center the midwife checking on us every so often. Around 2am another family came in and gave birth to a baby girl. I listened to the whole labor and wrestled with my own contractions lamenting that my own labor was not progressing. The next morning the midwife said nothing much was happening despite all the contractions. So she sent me on my way.

My parents had driven their camper up and had spent the night in the parking lot of the birthing center and upon hearing our release decided to camp at a near by campground. We spent the day there taking walks and moaning and at 4pm Ben and I went back to the birth center to be checked. I hadn't slept at all the night before because of the contractions and the anticipation. And as the contractions grew steadily worse sleep became even more difficult. They gave me an antihistamine that they usually combine with a shot to help me sleep but i denied the shot and only took the antihistamine which, oddly enough made the contractions even worse. That night i did not sleep again but stayed up all night my mother helping to prop me up because lying down hurt so much. Jes and Nini came to spend the night with us all cramped into that tiny camper. At 4am we decided to go back to the birth center. But shortly after arriving labor stalled yet again. That whole day i spent in the birthing pool waiting and moaning and trying to deal. I threw up a lot. Ben stuck by me the whole time. Eventually they broke my water to try and get things going. They gave me an IV to try and hydrate and revive me as i was so tired and couldn't keep anything down.

After a very long time and three days of no sleep Esther was finally born into the world on the 28th of October at 3am. We had been expecting a dark headed boy but were amazed at our brand spankin' new red headed baby girl.

I got two small stitches. And we eventually did get a little bit of sleep.

Because i didn't post them then.

These pictures were taken during the women's weekend and they just never got posted. Mostly cause they were posted on West's blog and I didn't feel the need to repeat... but seeing as how i don't have any new pictures:

Wicked Wednesday

Corned Beef and Cabbage.



Lessons Learned:
1) if you get the "koolaid beef" don't add salt.
2) always use the whole head of cabbage.

Lookie Lookie!!

Watch Esther Walk!!!

Wicked Wednesday and Ben's Birthday Dinner

We celebrated Ben's birthday (which is today) with j&i last night during our weekly wicked wednesday. We started out with Chili, then went to cake and kissing... and then Esther played with my shoes...

It doesn't look as delicious as it was in this picture... it actually looks sort of like the bog of eternal stench... which, being chili isn't that far off reality...
Every year i make Ben a carrot cake. Which, for me is a big feat. It's not that i'm not good at baking... it's that i don't like to measure and so sometimes it's a bigger adventure than i set out for... you try measuring an 1/8 of a teaspoon with a shaker.

I swear this is a real kiss, we're not just smashing faces.
Ian's sad cause he's not getting a smooch... actually he's proving something to me here...
Ben says, "well then go get some sugar, Bee-Yatch"

So he does... but it wasn't enough.

So he goes back for more, but instead he tries to suck out her soul as my young daughter watches and learns.
Then my young daughter decides she wants to eat my flip flop... ewww. Also, i - this picture is posted just for you.
Hrmmm... which shoe should i eat next
Children really are like puppies